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cydeb It takes courage to come back. It could be me or anybody else here for that matter. In order to succeed the only day you have to spend smoke free is today , the rest of them will take care of themselves. Freedom equals change sufficient to bring about recovery. You're the most important person here. you're helping everyone here by telling us it isn't any better as a smoker. Don't leave. breather
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 11/11/2008 Smoke-Free Days: 252 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 12,600 Amount Saved: $6,048.00 Life Gained: Days: 46 Hrs: 6 Mins: 59 Seconds: 51
I caved right before I moved out of the old (and foreclosed) house. And I kept caving as I moved box after box to the new house..... I promised myself that as soon as every last thing was put away, the cigarettes would be put away too. So I just had my last one (again!) about 1/2 hour ago.
Smoking was not pleasant at all this time. Not even once did I enjoy it. I wanted to cry every morning when I'd stop by the store and paid $8.00. I hated the smell. I hid at work. I started coughing again. I coughed so hard one morning that I actually threw up. My skin looks horrible. I'm tired all of the time. What appeal. I'm heartbroken about my relapse..... I feel so yucky about it. This is such an addiction. I was at the point where I really wasn't thinking too much about it-- wasn't having anymore horrible withdrawal symptoms or cravings. What is the matter with me!?
I stopped writing because I didn't want to tell you I failed.... it was so uncomfortable. I look up to so many of you here and it took a lot for me to sit down this afternoon and fess up. But I also feel a little better because I felt like I was hiding-- and I really did miss all of you.
I stocked up on the supplies I know I'll need: Vitamins, straws, sparkling water, limes, Popsicles, a book, patches.... this place is another tool that I need. I know I need it because I can't do this again without you. I feel so stupid you guys. Really stupid and really down.
I thank God that I have it in me to keep trying though. I don't want to fail anymore. It's too hard.
deborah
My Milage:
My Quit Date: 3/8/2009 Smoke-Free Days: 135 Cigarettes Not Smoked: 3,240 Amount Saved: $972.00 Life Gained: Days: 13 Hrs: 23 Mins: 16 Seconds: 6
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breather
