I'm having "issues" with my quit meter. I am SO at 7 days today, but it only says 6. Totally smoke free.
But.
I did 9 months smoke free last year and blew it when my company told me I had to travel for a month (mother in law just had a stroke, spouse had to deal with her, our pets, and everything else on her own while I would be gone), so I caved. At the time it was the best/only way for me to cope. I caught holy hell from the SCC crowd for it, so I backed off. Here I am back again, and on my way to the airport again.
I keep thinking that it will be no big deal if I cop a smoke once or twice on this trip. (Going to North Dakota for a week. SO COLD.)
I know that's crazy. I love this quit, this is The Quit for me! I just know it. So why am I even THINKING of sneaking a smoke?? I feel so dirty and sleazy!
(Here's the problem; since I'm on travel, I have only my work computer; not sure if the IT Powers that Be will allow me to get to you. They block Web e-mail, instant message services, and chat. I'll try and log in once I arrive in Bismarck.)
I'm pretty sure I can weather this storm, but the "lower brain" is wielding a lot of power these days and keeps telling me that once I'm at the airport, I'm home free.
I don't want to be home free, I want to be smoke free.
But, God have mercy on me, I also want a smoke in the worst way.
This quit has been weird -- every day has been more difficult than the last. Never been that way before... getting so worn down by the unexpected battles on Days 6 and 7...
pete
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]2/25/2008
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 6
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 300
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $33.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 13 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27
