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for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Debora,

I was tracking my sleep total since I've had sleep apnea, and I'm doing better but am finding i'm sleeping more than my average need. Dreaming all night is different for me, and I wonder if it's just part of my desires, which aren't being fulfilled, since I've just not being active getting outside lately.

Remember times when you were so excited, you couldn't sleep as a child, because of some event, or the anticipation of Christmas Eve or the night before a trip or leaving on a trip?

When I had surgery, I remember dreaming about walking again until I could, although it was only one day!

I can't comment on dreaming, although I did various modalities which involved interpretation, other than to say dreaming seems to be part of my unexpressed needs.

Too bad we can't change the topic "title" since you've come a long way, and aren't at "square one" any longer

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

I seldom dream but I do remember my trigger was claustrophobic nightmares at two in the morning. Dealing with the nightmares was part of the treatment. But only part of the overall treatment. It entailed taking the unrealistic out of the dreams and learning to discard the thoughts about them so I could sleep and also discarding any thought about them the next day because they were not relevant. Anything else is not productive. It has to be all of this. Sleep should be REM sleep, which is sleep in three or more hours periods, to be of any value.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Davit and Vincenzia for wishing me a great day.

I think I am noticing a pattern here. I wake up with symptoms and I try not to dwell on them too much which is hard. I know I am waking up exhausted, I wanted to ask the other members is all night dreaming common with anxiety disorder? I use to just dream right before I woke now its ALL night and morning till I wake, not horrible nightmares {once in awhile} just dreaming of conflict, sickness and trying to work and escape its strange, can dreaming make you feel like you have not slept at all? I feel kind of "wired and tired" does that make sense, like sometimes the symptoms of anxiety are more pronounced and sometimes the feeling of depression, I know I have to start to look better, and when I say I look bad I am not exagerating I look horrible! very pale and sick my hair needs to be done but I am afraid to go to the beauty shop, I look like I just got over some horrible disease and I hate to look in the mirror I actually gasped the other day when I caught a glimpse of myself, I know if I look better I will feel better but I cannot muster the energy, even with make-up, and that use to help, makes me look garish and haggard. how I long for the day to wake and have energy and no anxiety or depression, at least I still have hope, I just hope all these symptoms like the stomach and headaches are a result of anxiety and not some terrible illness, THAT is what I have to get out of my mind, and that is so hard to do, I just try to take it day by day and sometimes moment to moment, just get through the day, my goal is to enjoy the day again and not feel sick and tired and anxious, life should be lived not just existed, hopefully one day I will experience peace and happiness again, I hope we all do.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

Wishing you a great day too.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1853

Great suggestion Davit,

Deb, Thinking of you & wishing you a pleasant day today!

Vincenza, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

The mind is a wonderful tool but for all it's capability it has difficulty bringing up memory the same way it was stored. Partly because some things in memory are very similar. Therefore we write things down we want to remember accurately.

Debora, are you keeping track of your progress. Such as how long you can go without focussing on your symptoms and how long before attacks. Once you start to do this they usually get farther apart as you try to stretch them out as a goal. Only one rule, if you get one closer together, it doesn't count and you don't have to start over, just ignore it and go on. The over all is what counts.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Sunny and Davit and everyone,

Thank you for you're replies, that is interesting about the shopping bad of negative and positive I hope I can apply that.

I had a little better than average day today, no full blown {yet} and I hope NOT yet. I awoke with those feelings again I had some real bad dreams and I think that started it, I was able to get past them somewhat and I have been listening to the relaxation tapes I have, my husband hooked it up and downloaded it which was nice of him, I know he wants me to get better, right now I have that "stomach nerves" as I call it, I am sure you guys know the one, the butterflies churning hurting, trying to just say "its anxiety its nerves it will pass" I am trying to conjure up some hope for the future that this just HAS to pass or at least lessen, I so appreciate you're prayers Sunny, thank you, that is such a beautiful picture of you, you are so pretty! I can tell that from a distance and the background is nice. I am trying right now not too dwell on the symptoms and just have a nice peaceful evening, its so nice to NOT have a day of panicking and crying, so far, and the days almost over so maybe I will make it! I know my body is highly sensitized and this is going to take awhile, but I have a little more hope today and I am trying to muster the courage to keep trying, when you all write me with you're tips and advice and information on how you recovered I am so grateful, thank you, taking you're time to help me, thank you so much.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Good morning Debora, (probably afternoon there)

Just to say hi. I'm having my second coffee, ( I can drink coffee again ) It doesn't like me. It makes me nauseous and dizzy but I like it and since it is not life threatening and I'm aware how yukky it can make me I do it anyway. There was a time I couldn't touch it at all. Still I do like coffee. I'll switch to tea for the rest of the day, finally ending with herbal tea. Not as nice but I know I can only have so much coffee. ( same with chocolate )

Anticipatory is worse than the actual attack. I'm not going to repeat sunny other than to say that what she says works. CBT is brain retraining and it does it by changing thought patterns from negative to positive. Your mind is like a shopping bag. It has negative in it. You need to put positive on top so you can't reach the negative. Cause right now your shopping bag has too much negative thought too handy.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Good morning Debora: Note, I wrote good morning. I like to start with a positive. I can read your fear in your post, for the next day coming. When those negative thoughts come, tell them to get lost. Just like that, shout it out too. Tell those feelings, thoughts to just take a hike and leave you alone. Tell them you have things to do and don't have time for this nonsense. Tell them that you are starting a brand new day without them. Of course the thoughts will come back, they have been there for a long time and you are still feeling the physical symptoms of panic and weariness. But that's what they will be, not that you are really sick, but that you are worn out with the negatives. So start your day with a positive thought that things will go well, that you can handle it, that you are going to take care of yourself now, that you are starting a brand new road to healing.

I know you are thinking, I wish it were that easy. We know it isn't that easy. We know it takes vigilance and a constant positive outlook even when we feel lousy. As Davit once wrote, this is the hardest simplest thing you will ever do. Changing the negatives to positives. Thinking positive thoughts when you are bombarded with negatives. But that's what it takes to bury the negatives. I liked the shopping bag picture, keep the negatives at the bottom and fill it up with all the positive stuff.

You are used to waking and having those fearful thoughts right away. They're the ones you need to change to positives. What can you tell yourself instead? What have you planned for yourself for the next day which is enjoyable? Time to surround yourself with everything which makes you happy, anything which can distract you when the panic comes, anything which you can hang onto, instead of the fearful thoughts escalating the symptoms.

I had a ceiling to floor large bookcase and I would read all the book titles and the authors. Didn't know what I was reading half the time, but it didn't matter, it was a distraction. Is there something you could use to distract you?

Will pray for you all day,

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Sunny Hugs and Davit,

I layed down for a few hours. The crying and panic wore me out so bad, I actually could hear myself snoring why I napped! Thats strange I must of been in a very light sleep. I am trying to relax and calm myself down, I have been having this all day anticipitory anxiety all week which is almost as bad as the panic's, since the attacks came back after being gone awhile I know that I am just "dreading" the next one and the bodily symptoms everyday sure do not help. Like right now the house is quiet my son and husband are sleeping peacefully, my dogs are with me and I am so keyed up and nervous, and I know why I am actually dreading tommorow thinking {I hope I am wrong} its all going to come back again, waking up with that horrible nervous tummy sick feeling and progressing into a panic, and I do NOT want that its just that its been like my normal routine its just happens! I have to learn a way to control myself and my emotions and fears, easier said than done, if I could just float through them or block them or something instead of letting them scare me so, the only time I feel good is when I am sleeping and I know sleep is good but you cannot sleep you're life away, life is for living not existing in panic fear and depression.

This is very hard for me this time its gone on a long time and I dont want to lose hope. My aunt has the poor clare's nuns saying a special intention for me, she said they are a "pipeline too God" what a beautiful thought and saying. I may have to up my medication and I SO do not want too, I do not want to end up addicted or dependent, but these days of sheer terror and symptoms are so bad, I was so hoping the CBT would start kicking in its just that I am so nervous and out of it its hard for me to apply it right now but I cannot give up, even if I fail at least I tried. Thank you all for you're prayers and such kind words, here is hoping today will be a better day its after midnight so its a new day, we all deserve a second chance I know.

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