Im sitting here today,im just worn out,and the xanax i guess got me numb at the moment.Im tired of poppping pills,im tired of being scared,and on pins and needels all day..I hate how i burden my family,i just want my life back.I ask my girl she always like it will happem.Well ive had this 5 years and im worse than better.Im happy im layed off at the monent i couldnt function in the mills right now.
I hate living in a fog,i cant cry,im just going through life hating to be alone,trying to recapture my past.my past is history though,and i must capture today before it to turns into history..ive spent hours of my life wasted about dying or feeling yucky,i could have those years instead i folded..its hard to ignore symptoms when you feel like your knocking on heavens door,and the what if thoughts dont stop..i want to cry so bad right now guys..i see people walking laughing going places..i couldnt travel out of metro chicago area i would freak..i want to recapture what had,i used to love life,now im in this fog does anyone else have this like constant edgy,agitation,worry about health,feeling unwell..i mean this is no stop than it hits youin face this is my life..i must beat this,i will not fail,God is carrying me until i can walk..i miss life guys..thanx for reading this im not trying to sound pathetic or poor outlaw nothing like that i like to type it all out of me..i than read my old posts time time u know..
outlaw
pray for me as i pray for u
