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for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

The answer to all your questions is yes. Some times you have to hit bottom pretty hard before you get better. You are only dwelling because you don't understand it.

Are you doing the program, and how far are you?

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Josie.

Hi. I don't want anyone to feel they have failed if they are not a hundred percent okay. Some anxiety and panic is normal. More so when you know what it is. It is really hard not to go there when you can recognize what is happening. Statistics say that even if you do it all right you will only be eighty percent free. (some will do better, it depends on their attitude and underlying personality). I think it is possible to do better. So what do you do with the other twenty percent. Exactly what I did. Roll with it. I did salvage the rest of the day and will end the day with a smile and no anxiety. Normal people have anxiety and panic, they just don't get attacks and often if they do they don't know what they are. Often they blame it on something they ate. Sometimes it is something they ate, or some medication.

I seldom get days like today, usually there is no anxiety at all. Nothing. When I'm tired or feeling sick I recognize it for just that and do what you normally do. Rest. I'm past 60 and push myself, there will be some bad days. That is okay, nothing like three years ago when I had an attack every night and was afraid to sleep. Nothing like being afraid to go anywhere or meet people. Nothing like crawling out of my skin if some one came to the door.

So yeah, today was not good but that doesn't mean tomorrow won't be good. I'll not carry today over to tomorrow. I used to because that is how this condition works. Not anymore, when today is done, it is done. Start every day new.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Josie. Davit has been so helpful as Sunny and all the members they are fantastic and I am grateful for them.

I managed to avoid a full-blown attack today, and it was very very hard, the anxiety was sky high but no full-blown and I am so grateful but I wonder why I feel so exhausted!? I know the klonopin is sedating but my dose is not high, can NOT having an attack bring on feelings of exhaustion too?? Like just the doing of trying to fight it off and not have it? I did not float so well but managed anyway, I feel so tired now like my body weighs 900 pounds, even without an attack, its strange, no energy, is that common and normal? So many symptoms! trying not to dwell, feel like I want to sleep but sometimes cannot. Is all this expected?

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

Davit,

Thanks for posting those words of wisdom and for sharing your success with us!

You have been instrumental in sharing with others!

Josie, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Sunny and Davit and everyone,

I had problems logging in again finally I could. Thanks for you're words of wisdom and encouragement you don't know how much it means to me. I woke this morning with all the "symptoms" again, headache, tummyache, nausea, churning etc....I was able to talk to myself and calm myself, right now its kind of starting again, my "bad time" seems to be late afternoon or early evening I wish I could figure out WHY? the anxiety is pretty much 24/7 but I hate the attacks the most, of course, I keep telling myself "its just anxiety its just anxiety it will pass" I think I figured out what I am doing "wrong" I try to fight and flee instead of float and accept, if I could do that I could feel better, that is where the problem is coming from I think, my body is so sensitized right now its almost like anxiety and panic and sadness is "normal" and that is NOT true, thats not normal my body has lived like this for so long its become common place,. does that make sense? and that is what I do not want.

You gave me great tips on how to relax Sunny, thank you, and Davit you brought up such an interesting point when you said "too little medication is a bad as none" or something to that effect, I agree, but I am afraid to take more, I dont want to feel sedated and druggy, plus I want to learn coping skills and not too "run to the pill bottle" everytime I feel nervous, right now the symptoms are coming bad, especially in the stomach which I know is common, I am going to try to meditate right now and breathe and try to work through it, if I cant get through the next hour I will be alright, but I may need a half a pill. How I long for the day when this ends and I can function again, the body symptoms are bad, I know I want to live and get better through I want to enjoy life again.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Today I had what would be considered a bad day. Three years ago if I had a day like this I would have gone home and felt like a loser. I had to get a blood test done and some shopping. I haven't been to this town in a while and didn't want to go. The hazards of being reclusive. On top of that I felt sick and had a bit of vertigo. I've been overworking. But unless I am really physically sick I will not let a little anxiety rule me. I still feel lousy but I did my test and did my shopping. It was uncomfortable physically but not mentally because I won't let it. Part of what allows me to do this is knowing that normal people have days like this. They just don't dwell on it and they don't have a panic disorder so they don't have any reason to panic. They just feel lousy and bull through it. Just what I did. I told myself I'm normal and this is normal and I'm okay and did it. I didn't stumble into anyone or bang into things and I'm proud of the fact I did what I needed to under adverse conditions and didn't put it off. I don't have to worry about not being able to do it, it is done. I also didn't need the "this is my decision" mantra because I know it is my decision, I am the one with the control. But it is there if I need it.

Davit. Who really needs a nap, but has too much to do.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

Like sunny I too sat quiet and did my mantra. Mine was combined with breathing. "I'm okay" on the intake and "I'm really okay" on the out take. Another was "this will pass, it always does"

It has to be something you really believe.

And yes let the symptoms happen, they will go on there own.

And yes, I felt washed out after and had to move slow, which I did rather than sleep. Unless it was at night. I too would have the tea and think on my success. Always think positive. Never , never be upset because you had an attack. Let it go, you do not want negative thoughts in your memory.

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: Hoping your day goes better today with hopeful thoughts, with a light at the end of the tunnel. Yes this program is hard work but so worth it. You have already taken steps forward, might not seem like it because you are still having many symptoms of the disorder. Don't be fooled by this, you are reaching out and understanding that it takes one baby step at a time if that is all that you can manage. Don't worry, these baby steps turn into walking steps. Once the symptoms subside a bit as you get stronger, you will move with leaps and bounds. You're not doing anything wrong, you are in the process of learning how to change your negative fearful thoughts, to positive thoughts. Takes awhile sometimes especially when the symptoms you are having are so strong right now and frightening.

One of the coping tricks I was taught was to sit or lie there like a ragdoll and breathe slowly. Let the symptoms do what they want but be like a ragdoll. As you are doing this repeat the positive affirmations/mantra you have chosen. Mine was "I am well, I am at peace, I am happy to be alive". I repeated this as though it was really true. When it passed I felt washed out and exhausted too. That's when you need to pamper yourself a little, have a cup of herbal tea, do something relaxing which you like.

Anytime I practiced the muscle relaxation and visualizations, I remembered to move slowly afterward. No need to jump up and start in a hurry. Easy does it, move quietly and peacefully.

Just some ideas.

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora.

Okay this is better, more positive and you are on the right track. Most people don't like to take pills, but if you can get the okay then up the Benzo because you need to get away from the anxiety long enough to retrain your brain. (CBT) But don't up it so far that you get that fuzzy can't think feeling. Panic causes confusion and confusion interferes with both CBT and learning. Too much medication does the same thing.

The problem is that whether or not you want to focus on the negative, panic will make you. CBT will break this cycle but you have to be able to do it. This is the only legitimate reason for medication because medication is only a bandaid, an adjunct to the CBT. Too little can be worse than none. But again this is only information not instruction. You need to talk to a health professional about this. But you need information to be able to do this properly.

The longer panic goes on the more often and longer the cycling gets because you try to stop it but right now you don't have the tools to stop it. You also need the acceptance to be able to let them happen and get it over with as fast as possible. You need relaxation and coping skills.

I know you don't want this, none of us do but you have it and acceptance is the first step to getting rid of it. The second step is staying with the program even if you get better so you will have the skills to keep it from coming back. You don't want to keep doing this over and over.

Lets get rid of it once and for all. It can be done. (sort of like taking antibiotics, take the whole course and you only do it once)

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 542

That is what I am trying to do Davit retrain my brain. These attacks are getting harder to bounce back from, at first they only lasted 15 or 20 minutes now they go on longer and afterword I feel for lack of a better work like a wrung out disrag, I may have to increase the klonopin if my nurse says yes, I hate taking pills but perhaps till I learn coping skills it will calm me down enough to learn them, like right now the worst of the attack is over but I am still slightly shakey, my stomach is hurting so bad and I feel SO exhausted like I ran a marathon, my husband cannot help me anymore I know, I have to help myself, but the bodily symptoms are so bad so extensive its so hard, I actually miss the days when they were shortlived and I bounced back.

My tapes say panic attacks never killed anyone or drove anyone crazy, and I want to believe that but in the midst of one its hard to believe, this MUST be doing damage to my body, all that adrealine cortisol and everything, how much can the body take? I am afraid one day I will just keel over from one. I am sorry I dont mean to sound so negative this was a particular bad day and it surprised me because I had such a productive session with my therapist last night, I had so hope and now after this 2 hour panic I lost hope. I am going to try to have some soup and calm down, I am trying so hard Davit I really am.

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