Hi Sunny and Davit and everyone,
I had problems logging in again finally I could. Thanks for you're words of wisdom and encouragement you don't know how much it means to me. I woke this morning with all the "symptoms" again, headache, tummyache, nausea, churning etc....I was able to talk to myself and calm myself, right now its kind of starting again, my "bad time" seems to be late afternoon or early evening I wish I could figure out WHY? the anxiety is pretty much 24/7 but I hate the attacks the most, of course, I keep telling myself "its just anxiety its just anxiety it will pass" I think I figured out what I am doing "wrong" I try to fight and flee instead of float and accept, if I could do that I could feel better, that is where the problem is coming from I think, my body is so sensitized right now its almost like anxiety and panic and sadness is "normal" and that is NOT true, thats not normal my body has lived like this for so long its become common place,. does that make sense? and that is what I do not want.
You gave me great tips on how to relax Sunny, thank you, and Davit you brought up such an interesting point when you said "too little medication is a bad as none" or something to that effect, I agree, but I am afraid to take more, I dont want to feel sedated and druggy, plus I want to learn coping skills and not too "run to the pill bottle" everytime I feel nervous, right now the symptoms are coming bad, especially in the stomach which I know is common, I am going to try to meditate right now and breathe and try to work through it, if I cant get through the next hour I will be alright, but I may need a half a pill. How I long for the day when this ends and I can function again, the body symptoms are bad, I know I want to live and get better through I want to enjoy life again.