Quignov
I understand your obsession, because we share a common addiction...And my heart goes out to you as you struggle with the desire. I will tell you this, though, in a while, as time passes, if you stay with it long enough...If you drink enough water, practice deep breathing and honor yourself by staying true to this quest...If you do these things and be mindful that with each passing day you are training your mind and body to be self-sufficient, to live a life that does not include the slow suicide of smoking, there will come a time when smoking or not smoking becomes a true decision.
I understand that at this stage in your quit, the junkie is still strong. Gas stations, delis and convenience stores seem like treasure houses, that hold the key that will end your yearnings. Smoking is not an option...But if you walk down the road a little further, you will see that to smoke or not to smoke becomes a real decision that you can make. I know it dosen't feel that way right now, because you are at a place where you are fighting and wishing and fighting and wishing etc etc etc...
But it will get easier and the way to make it become easier is to allow yourself to accept that you no longer smoke. Allow yourself to be in a way that abhores the thought of smoking. You can do this, but it takes practice and it takes the understanding that each of us has the internal ability to alter our perceptions in order to make it possible for us to end our addiction...
I used alot of minds eye imaginings to get past the worst of it...You are a microbiologist, I am sure that you can summon up a lot of unpleasant images around pre-cancerous cells and the like...Anything that begins to train the mind not to seek out a cigarette when times get tough, or we get bored or we are scared or lonely, or find ourselves in any of the other emotional states we travel through...
The bottom line is you can do this, you must be inventive to some extent, strong to the max and at the same time offer yourself the kindness you deserve, by finally putting an end to the madness of smoking...Good luck my friend, I believe you can do this, how about you?
nonic
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]12/25/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 260
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 7,800
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2,730.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 47 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 43
-
Quit Meter
$69,615.00
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 1436
Hours: 11
Minutes: 15
Seconds: 11
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
6630
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
198,900
Cigarettes Not Smoked