Hi Outlaw,
I'm really sorry you're doing it so tough. We can all relate to your fears of dying as well as the obsessive side of it too. Theres a program here on the site, it's free, and highly recommended. It's helped myself and many others deal with anxiety, fear of dying and the rest. Sounds like you're running at a loose end very confused, that's a terrible place to be. I'd urge you to think about all the things you're scared of and challenge them one at a time. Ask yourself what evidence you have for a fear and what evidence you have against a fear. More often than not with anxious thoughts the evidence against a fear stacks up more. :)
It's tough dealing with a real issue and panic, like you're facing with gerd. Theres a way of thinking I try to stick to which helps me deal with panic and real issues. I'm not quite sure how to explain it. But here goes, I tell myself that panic is separate from me, that I am not the disorder I am a completely different entity. For some reason this helps me, give it a go, hope it can help you too.
Keep us posted and take care. You're in my thoughts. :)
