Duckie, hope you've gotten your coffee and taken a deep breath. Relax your shoulders. Sometimes things do pile up, don't they? And they did when we were smokers. The difference is that before, we'd just walk outside and smoke and avoid dealing with it. Now, we deal with it. As you said:
[quote]
With strength, I pulled the junkie voice out and 'tossed' it into the corner. I held onto my rational thoughts and basically talked myself out of wanting one.
[/quote]
That's exactly correct. When non-smokers have turmoil, they don't have that extra step of dealing with addiction on top of everything else that's happening.
This will pass. Right now it feels so overwhelming to deal with the car, your anger at your husband not taking care of it, and your health issues. Take deep breaths. Perhaps your husband will deal with the car today? Perhaps you have a friend or relative who can help you get to the doctor appointment? If you don't have a way to get there, perhaps you can call them first thing and ask for the results? You shouldn't have to wait 3 weeks anyway, in my opinion.
No, you have done nothing to deserve this. You are simply living life. Life is not just a smooth straight road, but also a road that curves, has some bumps and hills, but there are also signs along the way that help guide us to where we're going.
Hang in there, Duckie. And stick close by ...
Rusty :)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/13/2004
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 664
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 18,600
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2324
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 91 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 5 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13
-
Quit Meter
$57,886.40
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 696
Hours: 13
Minutes: 1
Seconds: 43
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
5566
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
222,640
Cigarettes Not Smoked