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Being alone

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Guy.

You know I'm in a similar boat. But I have a fixed date. I have a seven week wait and it is driving me crazy and there is nothing I can do. See you are not alone. I'm going to take a low dose of trimipramine to get me through this, because I have just to much I need to do and I can't if I can't sleep. I'm getting some anxiety, but I have the tools to keep it at that but It could get away if I'm not careful. (relapse) Just not worth it to be able to say drug free. Besides it won't be forever will it. Hang in there what you feel is normal, it will pass.

Here for you,

Davit.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 89

Today was not as good as yesterday. Maybe it was the fact that I had to leave work to see the appraiser for the house. Maybe it was the fact I knew I wouldn't be able to talk with my sweetie tonight. She had to work late and is 3 hours ahead of me, so that's cool. Maybe it was the fact I couldn't talk with my son tonight either, he and his Mom are out for the evening. Then, of course, I forgot my cellphone at work and had to go back and get it, so the evening was a rush.

The house is almost completely clean. Well, as clean as I can get it until I get some more boxes for packing and the snow clears up so I can get into the garage. There wasn't much I could do tonight. There went that outlet for the anxiety. I was using that as a way to divert my focus on being alone. I put the TV on but that didn't help. I don't know how I feel. Physically, I feel cold and tired. Emotionally I feel sad. I feel sort of guilty for not being able to do much, even though it's not my fault. I feel guilty for feeling angry at my sweetie for not being here to help me clean and pack.

I feel confused that a lot of people can go through something like this and it doesn't really phase them. Why me? Is there something wrong with me? Am I weak? Foolish thoughts I know, but hard ones to fight off sometimes. I want to go to bed, but it's only 9:00 p.m. and I don't want to disturb my sleep patterns. Although, those have been off for weeks waking up frequently in a panic.

I guess I'll get better. Tomorrow could be a better day. The weather is supposed to get warmer soon. The appraisal is done and that's one step closer to selling the house. Maybe I'll just have a tea, watch some TV and then go to bed. I think at this point that's all I can do and I need to rest in that.

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Being alone