You are most welcome. And feel free to talk here about anything and ask any question about this stuff. It can be really overwhelming at first and the more info you get for yourself the more it becomes easy to understand what is going on, in my opinion. I hope you feel bettewr soon :) -Diva

Kel, We certainly understand your concerns and for this reason, we encourage you to keep utilizing the tools of the program such as the anxiety tracker. It is possible your anxiety may be linked to physical triggers such as a lack of sleep or your cycle? Also be sure to keep working through the CBT program. Session 2 & 3 focus particularly on how to recognize and challenge anxious thoughts. This strategy may be helpful to you. Keep us posted. Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Thanks for your reply Diva. I am feeling a little better in that I am now able to eat a bit. I do understand that I am experiencing anxiety & they are just physical symptoms. My problem is that I do not know why I feel like this. There is no pattern to it & it just seems to appear out of nowhere. It hits me really hard at first and then very gradually gets better. I do come through it evetually. What I want though is for it not to come at all because it has such an effect on my life. I am afraid of going on holiday in case it happens again like it did last year. I think it must be a subconscious fear of feeling anxious that trigers it in that kind of situation. I saw a private therapist yesterday so I am hoping that he will be able to help me. It just seems so complex though. If it was a straight forward phobia - such as confined spaces or spiders - I could see a way out but I just can't see how we are going to get to the bottom of this. Thanks for listening x

No, these forums are here for just this. To have a place to share what we are feeling with people who understand what we go through and such. I do recommend you slowly start the CBT program here tho. It is quite good. And yeah at first it is hard to even identify anxious thoughts but once you start being able to figure them out challenging them is a great tool! Anyway,I don't mean to sound preachy... Sorry. I just really believe in this. Hang in there, I know this can be really overwhelming and hard. But remember, this too shall pass! -Diva

Thanks for your responses and advice. Although I felt a little better by the time I went to bed last night I still woke up at 4am feeling anxious, was sick before work & have been teary and feeling very anxious indeed. I still have not managed to eat anything. I had a cereal bar yesterday & even that I had to force down because I don't like to take my medication on an empty stomach. I have been like this (suffereing anxiety / depression)on & off for for the past 6/7 years. I think the anxiety came on very slowly over the years but then became out of control whilst I was on holiday in 2001. I have been on various medication for 6 years. I have had CBT (on the NHS), EFT, Reflexology, Reiki & other private counselling but still these feelings come back. I have been signed off on 2 separate occasions each for 3 months. I have had the odd couple of days off sick since then. I try not to stay off work as recently this has not helped me. It is just more time to fill. In the past year alone I had 6 "episodes" that always seem to me to come out of nowhere. One of these "episodes" was when I was on holiday in the most amazing place - completely illogical & it ended up ruining most of the holiday. The 6th & most recent "episode" started yesterday. I have been feeling extremely anxious and have the usual physical symptoms feeling & being sick, upset stomach, heart racing, tingly arms, feeling weak and shakey, disturbed sleep & low appetite. As to what has triggered this "episode" it could be a number of things. We were looking into booking a holiday for September (and so I might be subconsciously worrying about feeling anxious again when I am on holiday) & there are also major redundancies about to be announced at work. The usual pattern it follows is that the anxiety kicks in first & then the feeling low & overwhelmed starts. I am lucky in that I have a very supportive boyfriend & friends / family but I just hate feeling like this. I keep telling myself that as it has before it will pass but while it is here it is so hard. It is not as if I fear dying or anything. I know that the feelings are anxiety but I just cannot talk myself round. I'm not always necessarily worrying about anything consciously. The feelings just seem to come from nowhere. I wake up ridiculous

Kel, You've gotten some great responses. We encourage to keep your appointment to gain additional assistance and continue to utilize the strategies such as thought challenging and relaxation techniques to help you push through. We also encourage you to take a look at your records. Is there a pattern or trigger? Danielle ____________________ The PC Support Team

Hi Kel, Diva has offered some great advice. We all go through times where we have a harder time controlling our panic and know how frusterating and depressing it can get. It sounds simplistic but it really is a mind over matter thing. We have to fight daily to remind ourselves this is "all in our minds", it's not real even when it feels like it is. I have just spent 5 minutes in the bathroom looking in the mirror telling myself over and over again " I am having an anxiety attack". doing some deep breathing, and working to get things under control again. Kel you are not alone. We are here for you. I come on to the site when I feel this way and read through the other posts to help me see I am not crazy and that others are going through the same thing. Yes we have bad days but we have good ones too. Keep on keeping on and it will get better.

Hiya Kel, I know this will all sound lame and annoying in the state you are now but I will tel you this anyway because it is how I got through feeling like I just could not take a minute more of this. First of all, continue working the program, monitoring then challenging your thought pushing yourself to do exposure work etc... Eventually all the hard work kicks in and it pays. It really helped me get better this program. Second, and this will sound crazier still, I found that living in the Now and accepting things the way they are in the present moment, not thinking of the past or future but just accepting my present moment and who I am in it really helps. Resisting it all sems to make me way more anxious. Now, of course if you read my many posts you will see that i dont always succeed at this lol Its pretty hard to do in my honest opinion. But when i do manage to just BE in the PRESENT without resistance I feel better. Third, be good and kind and patient with yourself. It is so easy for us to set high expectations for ourselves and get really down on ourselves the minute we dont get it all perfect. Just give yourself time, be good to yourself , you deserve it! Four, I think it is great of you to seek help of a professional. I think it is a step in the right direction. And remember, this too shall pass! Hang in there. Sorry if i could not be more helpful, all I could tell yu was what helped me but we are all different I guess and we all kind of find our own ways :) Anyway, I hope some of my ramblings helped you :) -Diva

After having a couple of weeks feeling ok I am feeling worse than ever. The anxiety came on yesterday & is completely overwhelming. I have made it into work today but have been sick several times. I just can't cope with feeling like this anymore. This is the 4th episode this year. I just can't see to talk myself round. I am going back to the doctors this afternoon - although it is not my regular doctor that I am seeing. Please can someone help me. I just can't go on like this.