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for 17 år siden 0 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hiya jaci, I really wish you would stop being so hard on yourself. The same way your dad is dealing with his challenge you are dealing with yours and it is ok.When my dad got sick at first i totally fell apart and panicked and all. It is only once i cut myself some slack that i managed to deal with my grief and my anxiety. And once i had done that i could be there more for my dad. But to do that i had to accept myself the way i was. Be kind to yourself and take care of yourself. That is the best thing you can do for everyone. Your parents love you and understand you have to cope with anxiety and panic and i am sure they do not think you selfish or anything of the sort. They know you love them and are doing your best. Again, be good to yourself and take care. You are not alone, I know first hand how aweful this can all be. Please keep me posted and know my heart goes out to you. -Diva
for 17 år siden 0 28 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks to both of you Diva & Danielle!!! I just can't help feeling so guilty about this. It just seems when my family needs me most I fall apart and everything becomes about me. I should be able to handle this like "normal" people. I can understand being upset about my dad's illness, but what's wrong with me that all I can think about is how "I" feel?!?!?! My parent's don't need this right now. They are always there for me when I get like this and right now they need to focus on my dad. I feel so bad when I fall apart in front of him. I want him thinking about getting better and having a positive attitude about his treatments and not worried about me and how I'm dealing or not dealing with things. But I do want to thank both of you for listening. It really does help to be able to talk about this. God bless both of you!!!
for 17 år siden 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Jaci, Please do continue to heed Diva' advice and cut yourself some slack. You were making great progress and will continue to do so! Finding out a parent is sick is never easy for anyone to deal with. Nobody ever takes this well and being a nurse I can tell you most tend to fall apart for a while. That's just part of acknowledging, accepting and realizing the situation that has presented itself. Just as Diva said, the best thing you can do is to focus on you & getting back on track. Keep working through the program and don't forget to call on us if you need support. Keep close. Danielle ___________________ The PC Support Team
for 17 år siden 0 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Feel free to write anytime I check messages quite often. I know how you feel. And i will be glad to help however i can. In the meantime remember be kind and acceting to yourself. -Diva
for 17 år siden 0 28 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks very much Diva!!! I know it's silly to make this about myself. And I thought I was getting better. I made it through yesterday's treatment and seemed to be OK afterwards. Not "happy" just OK. But then again this morning, I seem to be all weepy and guilty. And along with my panic attacks, I make myself sick to my stomach. So when that happens, it's like, "here it comes again". And at the worst possible time. I should be stronger than this, and I usually am. But this stupid panic disorder is just making me a puddle of tears. I want to be there for my mom and dad, I just can't seem to get over myself. But thanks very much for your kind words. I'll try to keep reminding myself that this is how "normal" people feel too. It's just nice to know there's someone out there I can talk to.
for 17 år siden 0 2101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hiya Jaci, My dad is ill with Cancer too. He was diagnosed 4 years ago with a stage 4 cancer. They had given him three months to live and now four years later he is still with us. He is in chemo atm and it is rough and it scares me but i figure he did it once he can do it again. I am telling you thins because most people find it reassuring to know the odds can be beaten. One thing you can do to help your dad is help put him in touch with your local cancer association. Those kinds of associations are really good at having all the latest info on the best treatments possible. Obviously you are good with the web since you are here on the forum, so that would be one way you could help your dad out a lot. Just by looking up your local association and helping your dad get in touch with it. Also, i know how it is to feel guilty. When i first heard my dad had cancer i completely fell apart. I felt so guilty. But then i realized that my feeling guilty was preventing me from getting well again. So i forgave myself and kept working at feeling better. I was still worried abut my dad but i knew that feeling guilty is the most useless thing in the world. Be good to yourself. Everybody feels scared when a loved one gets sick. And there is something about panic and anxiety disorders that mak us more susceptible to fear then others. So just accept it and forgive yourself. Being kind to yourself is the best thing you can do for your dad.I really do know where you are at and how scary this is. and your reaction really is ok. It is normal that this makes your panic and your anxiety worse. So challenge your negative thoughts abut yourself the same way you would challenge and anxious thought. The better you treat yourself the more you will be able to deal with your anxiety and the more helpful to your family you will be in the long run. So remember be kind and good and accepting to yourself. Tell your dad you love him as much as you can and remember to breathe. My heart goes out to you in this very hard time for you. Please keep me posted on how you are and how your dad is. -Diva
for 17 år siden 0 28 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I was doing so well. I'd been challenging my behaviour. Making myself do the things that would normally set me off into a new attack. And I was doing great. Conquering every fear. And then I found out my dad has cancer. And for some reason I fell apart again. Everyone keeps telling me it's not the same this is how people react when they find out a loved one is ill. But I don't think so!!! Once again I'm freaking out and getting sick to my stomach. Those are all the things that happen when I'm worried about myself. How can I make this situation about me!?!?!? I feel so guilty!! When my family needs me most all I can think about is how crappy I feel and how am I ever going to get through this. I feel so awful for feeling sorry for myself. I'm full of guilt and I don't know how to make it stop. It always just gets easier and easier day by day. But I can't wait for that this time. My family needs me and I'm not there. And I can't be there if all I can think about is myself and why this keeps happening to me. Please help me!!!

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