I feel like i'm coming to a breaking point in my life and with this disease as a hgole.After 5 1/2 years,and the later 2 years being the worst of t,I feel I must try and defeat this,and I will focus on this task.
Today was my stepdaughters bday party it was far from home etc,long drive,and I was glad God got me through it all,with God all things all possible..
That being said my girl invits my best friend to it,hes loving the good rich life,money a good job,havent seen him in months.Phone once in a ahwile but I love him like a brother.I seen the kids playing,and talking to him,and seeing my girlfriend,and it all clicked..
The life im living is fake,im having symptoms that make me fear death.That make me think i have heart problems,tumors something horrific.Im 26,and i must grab this by the horns and tackle it.Im not sure how to fight this battle yet,im going to talk it over with my family and figure out what options are avaiable but living like this is foolish..i would rather live like a man than die like a coward.Im doing the opposite im loving in fear and must break the cycle..Leaving the site for a little time might be a option also,i love the board but i must focus on gettting well..The reason im posting this is i always post whats on my mind,and my mind is trired of being sick and tired..My nerves are over sentized i feel everything and i must get well,for my family sakes first!For all my friends,and for me..God please let us find what will help us,i pry for everyone here,im not down at all,thats not the purpose of the post..Its that i must figure what works for me..I will sit and ponder this,and talk it over..To everyone out there this to shall pass,and hopefully we all get well soon..I still plan on posting and responding to posts until i find how im going to attack this,than im going to withdraw all my habits and attack..,,This board is great..
outlaw
