Crystal I missed you. Thank you for posting me, the pain I am feeling is deep and Allison is so correct that I tasted normalacy for one night and realized how wonderful like could be and that in itself sent me into a deep black depression. I once {foolishly} told my old therapist that I would rather have depression than anxiety/panic, because at the time my depression was very mild, now I realize that was a naive statement depression is crushing, the panic comes and goes its the depression that stays around and hurts you the most. I will call and try to find another therapist, my old one called me a "challenge" and never called back when I tried to reinstate therapy so I kind of gave up, I have a good nurse-practioner to manage my meds but I do need someone to talk to CBT or something, All I know is I want to recover and be a good wife and MOther more than anything and I have beat myself up alot lately because I could not feel better, I am praying, taking my medication and I will keep a journal and make a list, I will say I WILL recover not Maybe, I must think more positive, to tell you the truth I am ready to feel better, I am so exhausted from the non-stop anxiety and crying I so want to feel good and happy again, it felts so good. Thank you for your prayers, I always believed in God and his power, you guys are right, I did not believe in myself, I have a glimmer of hope and I am going to go with that. This site is a life-saver and I am so grateful to GOd I found it, thank you so much and God bless you, Debbie.
