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Not sure where this goes - but need to vent!

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Not sure where this goes - but need to vent!

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 444

Dear Lorie, I am praying that things will get better for you, I felt very sad reading your post, I try to hold on to the thought "God never gives you more than you can handle" even through it seems to come real close sometimes does not. You sound strong, and I admire that, I hope all this misery is followed by joy you deserve it. God bless you, Debbie.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 24

Thanks Alison, Tomorrow is "D" Day - and hopefully we will get all of our questions answered. This living in limbo stinks! I feel like a kid though. Starting tomorrow I am going to have my days free to DO ANYTHING I WANT and for the life of me I can't figure out what to do. Sure, I can clean my house, do yardwork, but that's not exactly what I want to do. I'm nervous and excited - I'm going to be FREE!! When my partner has her lucid days, and I can leave her alone, I will try out my new freedom. Just where and what to do? I will let you know what happens. Thanks for your support! Lorie

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 189

D'uh! Boy am I dumb! So when you said 'stumped' you meant it. :p I was glad to read you last words where you mentioned you need time for you. I think people in your position find themselves in an incredible balancing act. Everyone has needs and they are all important. Don't forget to keep caring for yourself physically and emotionally. I hope things go well with the doctor, let us know what happens. Take care :)

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 24

Lulu, I think you're right about not pushing her to eat. Today I had the attitude, "Oh well, let her do what she wants" and she actually ate part of a tv dinner. I am going to back off, there's no sense. And all I'm doing to myself is making myself even crazier and certainly more tired. I feel like I'm beating a dead horse. Even though I love her dearly, and yes I am probably codependent on her, I need to back up. I need to let the doctor's deal with her. I feel that I have done, and do, all I can. Heck, I'm only human too, and a human with their own "problems". But thank you for your advice. If I can just hold on til the 18th, when she sees the surgeon and my 5 year old starts school, I will feel better. At least then I will have my day free, and MAYBE I can really start to work on ME! Thanks again! :)

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 295

Hi Lorie im sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment but it will pass you will be ok you definately need some time for you even just an hour a day to recharge yourself.As far as the eating thing with your partner being a recovering anorexic it is important not to push but be very patient i know the more i was pushed to eat and still do now the more i dig my heels in and refuse its a very difficult situation but when you need to vent or chat just post and we will try and help as best we can.Goodluck Lorie. :) Lulu..

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 24

Thanks Alison, I hope things work out too. I'm still fighting with her about eating, she refuses. She's supposed to drink 3 Ensures a day. If I can get her to drink 2 I'm lucky. She hasn't eaten any real food for days. I've tried talking to her, being compassionate, loving and even forceful about it, but she won't budge. It just makes me mad that she won't do ANYTHING to help herself. How does she expect them to do the surgery if she's skin and bones? But I'm tired of fighing with her. I'm exhausted! How far do I nag? Do I now leave it to the doctor's and back away? Or do I continue to fight her, even though I know it's a lost cause? The reason why I said my therapist is stumped, because she knows my situation and understands completely why some of her suggestions, and of other's, will not work in my situation. Sure, I could walk out the door and leave her with someone she doesn't trust and panics with, but how can I go and have a good time knowing she's freaking out at home. I COULDN'T! My guilt and anxiety would eat me alive! The only thing that's keeping me going is the fact that the surgery may actually work, and I will get my old partner back. That is if she has the surgery. Thank you for responding. I feel like I'm between a rock and a hard spot! Thanks again, Lorie

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 189

Wow, I am sorry to hear things are so difficult right now. Hard times are hard enough, but when you add anxiety on top it can seem unbearable. Is there hope of any kind of recovery for your partner? Is there anything you can do for you everyday? (Taking a bath, going for walk, etc.) btw, what does 'stumped your therapists' mean?? I hope things start looking better for you soon. Take care. :)

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 24

Hi and thank you so much for responses. Been mellow for the past few days, but I know it's short lived. But I try to take it a day at a time. I'm fighting my partner now because she refuses to eat. She's 5'9 and weighs about 116lbs. She used to weigh at least 135. I talked to her today about trying to eat so that she can face surgery healthier. She says she can't, because of her stomach. The meds that they have her on are tearing her stomach apart. She's living on Ensure. But she only drinks 3 a day, and I know that is no way going to make her gain weight. The only thing it's doing is keeping her alive. So the struggle is on. Next thursday all my questions will be answered - I hope! One good thing that I did do, today I actually took my daughter to her ballet class ALONE. A year ago there would have been no way I could have done that. Her class is about 30 minutes away, one way. So I drove her alone, and actually sat with her while she had class, which lasted an hour, and calmly drove home. I didn't freak at all. I think the fact that I got out of the house, and away from the crap, is what I needed. And about having someone coming here is out of the question. She doesn't want anyone here, and especially if I'm not here. She panics and looks for me. And not to mention, that me being agoraphobic, that there's some days that I really CAN'T get out of the house. Yes, I know I should, but anyone with anxiety knows, if you can't, you CAN'T. So I'm trapped in my self-made prison. But I did want to thank you both for responding. I was actually surprised that I got even one. I thought for sure that when people read my "dilema" that I would be pegged "a nutcase" and run for the hills. Thank you for not running! Right now I feel so alone, scared and confused. But certainly better to have this site, and to have responses from wonderful caring people. Thank you! Hope you both have a wonderful day/night! Lorie

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

Lorie, Thank you for sharing your story. You are going through a hard time. You need to take time for yourself to sort everything out and relax your mind and your body. Is there any help available for your partner and you? Home care, volunteers, family? This may ease the burden somewhat. What about your 23 your old child, perhaps they could take on one or two chores to lighten your load, or even babysit the baby for a couple of hours so you can recollect yourself and your thoughts. Take some time and go through all the issues and demands that need to be met. Try organizing and delegating if possible. Don't burn yourself out and remember if the house doesn't get fully cleaned today, it is ok. Hope this helps, and please let us know how we may further assist you. Josie ______________________________ The Panic Center Support Team.

for 19 år siden 0 +0 / -0 204

wow lorie thats a olot you are going threw. but it will all come to a end and everything will be back to normal soon. you need to find time to relax and think positive.i hope you partner has a safe and fast recovery. gina

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Not sure where this goes - but need to vent!