Hi everyone, I'm having a really rough time as of late. My anxiety is about a 12 and I'm ready to scream! I have no where to turn, heck I even stumped my therapist! A little background..........I'm 42, mother of two (one 23 foster daughter, and a 5 year old bio daughter). I have been with, and live with my partner of 25 years. Which I still adore and love madly. I have been recently diagnosed with PTSD, from childhood abuse, and suffer from severe anxiety and agoraphobia. I have been this way since my 20's. The reason why I'm so crazy now is.........my partner if facing brain surgery. She has to go and talk to the brain surgeon on the 18th to find out what they are going to do. They found out that part of her brain has shrunk due to too many seizures. So now they want to operate to remove the part of her brain that shrunk. Now that's bad enough, but they have her on mega drugs to stop her from having seizures until the surgery. Some of these drugs make her hallucinate. She she's men in the house that aren't there. She smells and hears imaginary things too. Not to mention, she is nothing like she used to be. She has absolutely no interest in ANYTHING. She is a complete zombie most of the time. My support system is very shaky as of late. I'm smack dab in the middle of breaking all ties with my parents. And me being an only child makes it harder. I don't have my partner, very little friends and a stumped therapist. I have to take care of EVERYTHING. I cook, clean, do the shopping, take care of the money and bills and take care of my 5 year old. And am on constant alert to watch over my partner. With her brain damage she forgets a lot. I also have to be her memory for many things. So here I am. I am wound up so tight I feel like I'm ready to break at any minute. I have every symptom known to man. I can't eat, my stomach's in knots. I can't sleep, insomina real bad. And my mind will not shut off. I know I have to stay strong, I have my baby to take care of. And my partner would be lost without me. But I'm not sure how much more I can take! I want to cry (which I do a lot when I get the chance to be alone), and scream! I want to jump in the car and drive until I can't drive anymore. But of course I would never do it.