Hi Becky, I really don't know what to say. I don't really have any advice for you but I fully agree with what everyone else has sad, your step-son is very sick and needs help, this is not normal and you should NOT be having to go through this. Your husband needs to step up and take some action here, my personal opinion is that this is dangerous behaviour your step-son is displaying and it shouldn't go ignored, it should be dealt with. I just can't comprehend how your husband can leave you alone in this situation with the attitude of 'we'll just wait to see what he does next'. I just feel for you so much and wish I could say something to help, its just not a good situation for anyone to be in, but for someone with panic disorder it just escalates things so much more. Perhaps seek advice from a professional on this, or someone who can help you do something to fix this situation?! Take care, I really hope things improve for you...I'm not religious but I will definately pray for you. Jas.

Thanks KD for your support. I guess it's part of my personality or maybe it's the anxiety to second guess or question myself, it's like am I wrong for feeling this way, am I a horrible person? That makes this worse. My therapist and my step-son's therapist feels that the abuse I've went through in the past has made this ten times worse for me than for someone who has never been through traumatic events. That may be true, but I feel if I had lived a good and normal life, this would still be hard to get past. If my anxiety increases again this evening, I'm going to have to go, I've got Zoloft at home, I took a baby dose last night, I'm going to take 6.25 mgs. tonight, hopefully, I will be up to 25 mgs. in the next couple weeks, I just have this horrible fear of medicines, but I know that I have to do this, I am just taking it slow right now. I sincerely do appreciate all the support from everyone, you'll are wonderful people. Thank you

Wow Becky, that's a LOT for you to be going through! Don't feel like you're bad or crazy or out of line or anything for having all these thoughts/feelings...I totally agree (and so does everyone else on this post) that your son-in-law has a big problem(s) and that is NOT normal OR acceptable. Your husband is also out of line and his reaction to his son is clearly denial and that's not acceptable either. :( Sometimes lately, I also feel like I just need to escape from my "normal world" and take the day off of work and just be alone and when I do, it really helps. At first I was scared to be alone (being alone is what originally caused my panic attacks!!!), but after about 1-2 days of forcing myself to just be alone, to try to relax, and to just let the panic come and not call anyone for help, I am SO much better and WAY less scared of the panic attacks, because I showed myself that they can't hurt me -- they are uncomfortable but they do go away and I CAN start breathing normally again and I don't need to call someone for prayer. My reason for saying all this (paragraph above) is to agree with you that maybe, going to the hospital for a few days is EXACTLY what you need. Don't feel like you have to just because others are telling you to though, but maybe having a break from your step son AND your husband, in a place where you wouldn't have any stressful tasks to complete (other than lying there and recovering in a more safe environment!) would be just what you need. If you feel that you want a break from your step son and husband, then I would just firmly tell them not to visit and I would even go as far as telling the staff that you don't want them to visit, and then they will keep them out. I know that for me personally, when I'm REALLY anxious (like you are right now), I can't fully relax and therefore start the healing process, until I know that I'm in a totally safe environment, which means that the anxiety-causing-people in my life CAN'T get to me (that they can't get into my house because they are out of town and/or don't have a key, that I can screen their calls so that I don't have to worry about their words upsetting me while I'm trying to heal, etc). And if possible and you feel that it's a good option, take some time off of work (ev

Thanks Debbi for your prayers. I am in therapy for three months now and so is my step-son. My therapist feels that he needs to be out of the house, but he actually has no one who would take him in. I feel that she is pushing me to make decisions that I don't feel that I am capable of making now. It's feels to me like almost being raped, and having to live with the person who did it everyday, and I know that he has watched my husband and I in the bedroom, which I feel is sick. I am concerned that he may be a sexual predator or addict. This has been going on 2 1/2 years, my husband actually said "We'll just wait and see if he does it again" I just feel like how many more times and what does he have to do to make him get it. I went through him watching me and lurking around when I was bathing for a year. In therapy the last couple months I felt like I was getting past it, but then he rents all these porn movies and all these feelings are coming back with a vengence. I even called a hospital about 40 miles away tonight who has inpatient care and they told me I could go to their ER and they would probably keep me. I can hardly function or even talk at work, the stress between work and home is to the point of unbearable. I feel like my only option is to go into the hospital and get started on medication with supervision, I just don't have any energy, I am so tired and lethargic, I come home from work, I can't even bring myself to pick up a dish. This is the worst I have ever been, the spacey feeling in my head won't go away, I feel like I've taken something. I have Xanax to take, but that isn't working anymore. I am very seriously thinking of going to the hospital for a few days, just to try to get stablized. I am making myself worse with the worry and not knowing which way to turn.

I have been on and off of Zoloft for alomost a year and a half -- and currently am taking 200mg a day of Zoloft...my doctor has upped it to 250mg. I agree that your step-son's behaviour is NOT normal -- and your husband should be firm with him and speak to him -- my opinion. Have you thought about therapy? With your husband and step son? About checking into a hospital, you may want to speak with your doctor and he/she may suggest the best for you. Hang in there and we are here for you. Best, B

Dear Becky, I am so sorry you are having a bad time, I am going to pray for you. Teenage boys are curious about sex and women's bodies I understand but this does sound extreme, your husband needs to talk to him and tell him this is totally inapproriate! I have Direct TV also, and a son, I have a "lock and code" on it so he can just wathc PG or G rated movies in his room, no R-rated or above, you can call them and tell them to delete "pay-per-view" I do not blame you for being upset I would also and all women for that matter. I blame Tv and the media they are constantly shoving it down these young boys throats with all the half-naked women on TV movies, magazines etc... They are so exposed and with thier hormones raging its not good! You are his step-mother and deserve respect and this is not normal, I hope your husband will help you, tell him this could cause problems in the future for him. Things have gone too far with internet porn and even regular TV is getting riskay, I am not a prude, there is a time and place for everthing, but your step-son is out of line. I hope the Zoloft is going better, I just swwitched from Zoloft to Paxil, Zoloft made me hyper, but everyone else I have spoke with loves it and it helps them, different antidepressants help different people. I will pray your situation gets better, I have just undergone a very rough time and I understand how it can get, but it will get better, please let me know how you are doing. God bless you, Debbie.

checking into the hospital might be a good idea too, Let them both know that this effecting you.

I feel like my husband thinks I'm overreacting. I have a lot of anger towards my husband and step-son. I just don't know what to do, I'm actually feel like telling them both to leave, but then I'm scared to be alone. I feel like I need to be in the hospital for a few days to get a medication and get out of this house and some rest. I appreciate your replies.

The Zoloft is helping me out a bunch. I'm on my 4th week now. This is not normal behaivor for you step son, His father needs to talk to him. Just my opinion... Good luck

Hey Becky Im on zoloft have been for about 10 weeks now and have found it to be a big help it dosnt take the panics away but i can deal with life better to a degree anyway.Sounds like you are in a very awkward situation which wouldnt be helping your anxiety levels any have you tried meds in the past?I wish i could offer you more advice concerning your home situation but i dont really know what you could do what does your husband say about the matter? Lulu...