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the funny thing is I am a Christian and I go to a very Bible based Spirit filled church where God is very much alive and present. This makes me feel like not a great believer because of this constant struggle. I full heartily believe in life after death and a heaven with no tears, no pain, where you are new.
I like to think it's stupid advice so I don't have to follow it, but i theory is does make sense. Afraid of flying, go flying. Afraid of spiders, hold one. Afraid of death, picture it, walk yourself through it. But this is what keep stumping me, this is a RATIONALE FEAR isn't it, how can I get over a rationale fear? :(
Hi Alison.
Well who isn't afraid of death, I think the majority of people are, my personal opinion is still that I think your therapist has given you stupid advice envisioning your own death, I wouldn't imagine myself having my worst ever panic attack in a supermarket so why would we do that with death! I'm a strong believer in the after life so I do believe that we go onto another place but I still have a element of doubt and fear death which is ironic considering i was suicidal for years! Are you a religious person or do you have any beliefs in the after life? Perhaps looking into one of these things might help ease your tension. :)
thanks for you response Jas and sanju!
I don't have any fears about driving, being alone. My greatest fear is death, but my question is "Who's isn't?" Who isn't afraid of dying a horrible death. I guess the part where I'm not "normal" is my obsession about. Personally I can't believe more people around me don't think this way. I wish I had a more fatalistic attitude about life that everyone I know seems to have.
I had a neighbour that just died from colon cancer in 3 months. Watched the funeral home come make plans at his house while he was alive. Watched all his friends come say good bye, watched him sell his prized cars, and watched them carry his body from his house at 2 am. Who the heck isn't scared of that???
hi alison..i think jas is right..how can your doc ask you to imagine the worst death and funeral..that would actually push you to point of obsession about your fears..in fact you should face your fears when it comes to actual phsical fears like driving or being in a elevator,being alone, etc..that,s what exposure is all about..but when it comes to negative thoughts i think it,s very important to know that not every thought we have is true and doesnt need to be given unnessary importance or power in our life..they should just be recognized as what are negative thoughts,and allow them to pass..dont dwell on them .i hope i havent said tooo much and really hope this helps..love..sanju
Hi Alison,
I can't see how planning your own funeral and envisaging your worst death could possibly help!! My therapist that I used to see kind of said the opposite of that. Never imagine anything negative, don't play out negative scenarios in your head because apparently you're programming your mind to think that way in that situation. She always said to imagine the scenario the way you would want it, like if you have a fear of going into supermarkets imagine yourself walking in and around the supermarket calmly and being successful, she said if I did this everyday and then tried to go in the supermarket then my brain would be programmed to respond in a good way. It did actually work, however I don't know how you put a positive spin on planning a funeral or death.But facing the fear and realising that situation isnt' all that scary after all is an important part. Hope my two cents helps. Take Care.
The adviced I continually get from my therapist is to face your fear and and the fear will fade. If your afraid of death and disease, walk the halls of hospital floor with dying people and plan your funeral. Envision your worst possible death and think about it everyday. Has anyone done this? And what did it do for you?
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