Shell,
It is difficult not to let family knwo what is happening....My husband (at that time my fiance) knew but my immediate family did not...I finally had a talk with my mother and she was sad that I hadn't confided in her before and she read up on anxiety and panic attacks...Don't be hard on yourself...we all have good days and bad ones...I was having a good day until I had these 'stupid' negative thoughts come to my mind as I was reading a magazine...and then my husband became annoyed at me for something very trivial....I cannot get the thought out of my head and I keep praying for God to forgive me...Shell, hang in there and remember we are here for you....
Take it easy,
B
Hey there Sotired. I am doing okay. Yesterday was a pretty good day but last night wasn't. I cried and cried because I was down on myself because of a family situation. I haven't shared what is going on with me with my extended family and sometimes it gets really hard.
I feel so self centenred right now. I don't enjoy the person that I have become. I feel like I am only focusing on how I got this way and how I will get better.
Thanks for your advice and I hope that you are feeling better soon.
Shell,
I completely understand...I have also diagnosed myself with all 'illnesses/disorders' -- and my husband likes to call me a doctor or a pharmacist....but I think it is the anxiety that makes us believe that we "are going crazy," but in reality it is just our thoughts playing tricks on us....the 'negative' 'scary' thoughts we have are not ours...it has taken me a very long time to understand this, although I do forget when I am panicing...
The Effexor is really good -- a dear friend of mine is taking and likes it....and it will take some time for the medication to settle in...
This may sound 'new-age' and all -- but try meditatiing and focusing on your breath...I find (when I actually do this) it helps...
I hope you are feeling better....
Keep us posted:-)
B
Thanks for the responses. I am trying hard to concentrate on other things but truthfully I am tired of this. I am the type of person that needs instant results. Patience is difficult for me.
The effexor is working okay. I guess maybe I am too hard on myself and the results. I started at the lowest dosage and was really hoping to stay there but I was increased to 75. I start that dosage this week and I am really nervous. Once I started taking Effexor I noticed a difference within a weeks time. I was able to get off the couch and do things around the house but I am not where I want to be yet. I think that takes a lot of time.
I sorta blame myself for this mess. When I had the panic attack in March I resisted as hard as I could not to get depressed. I had a panic attack five years ago and got depressed because I didn't understand what was wrong. When I had one in March I remembered what I felt like five years ago and tried to resist that feeling. Unfortunately I started researching the internet for possible problems and I came to the conclusion that I had schizophrenia. I then thought my life was forever changed because I would have to deal with this illness forever. That made me even more depressed. I wish I never looked online at the symptoms because I can't get them out of my head. Since then I have diagnosed myself with every possible mental disorder. It hasn't been real fun.
Thank you for your prayers and support. I really appreciate your feedback and can't wait for the day when we all triunph over this illness.
Hi Shell,
I am sorry for not responding earlier...I was away for a good part of the weekend...I still have those "thoughts" and it is extremely to shut them off...but you have to remember that these are not your thoughts and do not mean anything...
The medictaion helps -- I am taking 200mg of Zoloft and .25mg of Clonazepam twice a day and it has helped....but I still have those days where my thoughts just terrify me, but I try to keep busy and repeat "these are not my thoughts...and good things love and light can come to me..."
How is the Effexor? I took for a 2-3 months but didn;t give it a fair chance...but I hope you are feeling better.
And remember, you are not alone!!!
B
hi shell, its sue. How are you feeling today? I am taking 150mg of venlafaxine and 1mg respiridone. OCD is an extreme form of anxiety and I think repetitive thoughts are part of it, thats what I was told by my cpn. Its hard isnt it, its like trying not to think of pink elephants, you just end up thinking about them all the more AAAHH! and pulling your hair out. I havn't yet found out how to supress my thinking yet, I am still trying out differnt ways. Tried to send you a smiley face but messed up. Keep smiling.
Thanks for responding Sue. Yes my mind feels chaotic. I feel like I am unsure of my feelings, like I don't have any confidence in myself anymore. I feel that I have developed a low self esteem because of my thoughts.
My doctor raised my dosage of effexor to 75. What is your dosage?
Do these repetative thoughts mean we have obsessive compulsive disorder?
I know some CBT techniques but I am not giving them the amount of time they need to work. I hear from research that it does a lot of good though.
Hi I am sueb and I have just joined the site. I know exactly what you mean about repetitive thoughts I suffer with it all the time. I too am taking effexor but I am also taking respiridone. My thoughts really hold me back from doing the things that I want to do.Does it feel like your mind is complete chaos that you dont even know what your thinking about anymore just costant thinking and analysing over and over again. I think myself useless all the time as well as though Im not worth it just a waste of space. My cpn said that I need to write a list of all the good things about myself, it is really hard. I have never had any cbt is it anygood? Sue b
Sotired
A while back you were struggling with repetative thoughts and I was wondering if you or anyone else is still going through that.
I am really struggling with that now and I just can't seem to shake it. It is really frustrating.
I have also gotten to the point where I can't trust my own feelings. I feel like I am not me anyomre and I question every feeling and intention. I have had a few good days but I can't seem to get over this hump. I am taking effexor and I think it is helping somewhat but I am unsure of that too.
Has anyone else experienced this? Has anyone doughted themselves and really just felt down about themselves?
I have not started week four of the cbt yet. I am hoping that it will help. I would really appreciate feedback from anyone.
Thanks
