When I first started with these symptoms it got really, bad. I was afraid I was going to hurt someone, the more I paid attention to these thoughts the worse they got. I would actually get a thought like Kill Em All... Id say wow what was that.. I wasn't hearing voices or anything just stupid obsessive thoughts. I was so scared I was going crazy... Everyone even non-anxious people get these weird thoughts. I'll bet you can remember one from before you had anxiety or panic. I know I used to pull up behind a car at stop light and a thought like put the pedal to the metal would come in. I didn't do it. It was a thought. But I didn't obsess on on it back then. The difference now is you are so tuned into yourself that when a thought pops up you are putting more meaning behind it then you actually would before. A thought is just a thought. Good Bad or indifferent ...It is not your behavior, it is not you , it is a thought. Can't hurt you, can't make you do what the thought is, it can only serve as a distraction from what maybe your real issues are. If you tell yourself not to think it you well. Don't think about a pink elephant all day. tell yourself don't think about it . and you will.. Just accept the thought, embrace it, tell your self it can't hurt you, because trust me it can't it is just a powerless thought. I know because I was where you are just this past thanksgiving. It is easy to say .. but it is hard ... get busy, watch a funny movie, curl up with your favorite book... I remember at thanksgiving I didn't want to carve the Turkey because I was afraid to have the knife in my hand. One day I was sitting next to my dad and there was a pair of scissors, I had a thought that what if I loose control and hurt my dad.. I made him put the scissors in the drawer.... Weird thoughts, but nothing ever happened and it won't. Take care and we are all on the same journey to recovery.. we can make it , I know we can!!!!!!!!!!
