Dear Gang, I have finally pulled myself out of bed, my therapist came to the house today and did EMDR, I do not know if it helped, I felt like all the panic, depression, pain, fear and bleeding caused me to have "nervous breakdown" of some sort, I am afraid to leave the house again, but I have to get over that quick, I am going to try to eat tommarow, I just kind of gave up and took to my bed, the bleeding has tapered somewhat and the pain is still there, I do not know if its nerves or I am focusing on it too much, I am just very naucous and dizzy, I so much want to recover and be better, I have an appt with my psyc nurse-practioner tomm evening I hope I am stong enough to go, I think what is scaring me so much is I am so afraid I will get as bad as 3 years ago and will not be able to function, it kills me to see the disgust and disappointment in my husbands eyes, and the confusion in my sons, even the EMDR therapist said I am "challenging" I even got angry at God last night, and I feel so bad, I thought "I need help NOW, why are you letting it get so bad and out of control" I feel very guilty about that, getting angry with God is not good. I just want to get better and I feel like I have lost the will and strength too. I am going to try harder if for no other reason for my son! I am trying guys, please pray and wish me luck. Thank you, Debbie.