You could have been describing any one of us with your 'looking over your shoulder'. Its so common to have good days and then you start to question why they were good, and wham , you're thinking about it again ! It is difficult to drop that load. What I find hard, is in an effort not to think about my panic or anxiety I keep myself occupied ( as Claire Weekes siggests in her book ), and then I get so tired from permanently doing things ! And yes, then when you're tired, your symtoms return ! Is it like that for you too ? Its like a never ending circle. And when you have goos spells, and I hope we all have them, we can't believe we were ever unwell, and that we've cracked it and that its all over. Then, bam, for some reason a day of anxiety and we feel terrible again because its a shock to feel like that again, we thought we'd recovered !! Its a difficult ' illness ' and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sometimes its hard to believe that we're ever going to be normal, but I guess if we have more good days than bad, then thats a step in the right direction. Again as Claire Weekes says , and I do recommend her books by the way, let more time pass. Good luck, and know you're not alone.
