I don't know if anyone else can understand, although if you are here, most likely you can.
The majority of my panic or anxiety attacks are centered around my irrational fears of my own death, the death of my spouse and/or the death of my children or other extended family members. I am terrified that I will have a heart attack, or my husband will die while he is traveling out of state, or one of these days I will get a call from the school with horrible news. I know the bottom line in these thoughts - these are all events over which I would have absolutely NO control. Death visits us all and those we love, sometimes without rhyme or reason. But for me .... this is a huge trigger. When I have a really bad attack - I am sure my heart is going to fail, have been known to take myself to the ER quite convinced i was dying. It extends to sleeping as well, sometimes I am sure that if i sleep - i won't wake up. I know that i am not alone with my fears, and that helps, but I don't know how to talk myself down, or keep these intrusive thoughts away. If anyone has any ideas I'd love to hear them.