Hey Al.
My dad's in ER after a bypass surgery, and he isnt' doing all that good. And needless to say, I'm not feeling too "chilled" at the moment, even after a few beers in the pub talking to my friends. I know what you mean with the "NOBODY CAN UNDERSTAND ME!!!" -- as people who don't have what we do never will be able to. But You NEED to understand that there are people feeling the same stuff as you do all over the globe, all the time! We're here, not only on this forum, but everywhere and there's always at least ONE person somewhere going through the same **** as you are. So you'll never be alone with what you're going through, and there's always someone who you could/should be talking with, sharing a couple of tears with. Thank [insert anything here] there's the internet.
Oh, and I'm sorry for your Father, and all the best to you my brother in panic.