I woke this morning at 3am...yuck! I tossed and turned until the alarm went off at 6. I felt horrible. My thoughts were racing, my head hurt and my stomach was not doing so well either. I told my wife I was just going to call in sick and lay in bed all day to try to catch up on my reading and some sleep. She was her usual supportive self and asked if she could help in any way.
Then I got some wild idea that [b]I[/b] was in control, not this "thing". So, I got into the shower and just stood there for a few minutes gradually turning the water colder until it was almost no longer comfortable then stayed a couple of minutes more. (I have found that hot showers tend to make me ruminate)
I stood in front of the bathroom mirror looking at myself and I made a decision. I stared deeply into my own eyes (actually beyond the eyes) and said..."You bastard! You have stolen your last day from me! I'm not going to take it any more" I laughed afterward of course, for talking to myself.
Anyway, I shaved, got dressed and kissed the family goodbye and went to work. On the way to work I played some music and sang along. Maybe today will be the turning point for me or maybe it will just be a pit stop...but either way, I [b]did something[/b] to improve my situation and I feel pretty good about it right now.
Mike
