HELLO, I AM NEW TO THIS GROUP. I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THIS IS BEING POSTED. I WANTED TO TALK WITH ROSE, YOU SOUND SO MUCH LIKE ME AND YET YOU SOUND BETTER. I ALMOST LOST MY MIND THIS MORNING AND I REALLY NEED TO STOP DOING THIS. I ALSO HAVE HAD A LOT GOING ON, I LOST MY MOTHER, FATHER, 2 BROTHERS, TO HEART PROBLEMS AND MY STEP SON SHOT HIMSELF AT 33 EVEN THOUGH HE WAS DOING GREAT. I HAD A HEART PROCEDURE AND THEN 10 DAYS LATER MY HUSBAND HAD OPEN HEART TOO. WE HAD TO TRY TO MOVE BACK TO THE HOME WE OWNED WHILE WE WERE BOTH STILL NOT SUPPOSE TO DO THINGS. BECAUSE I WAS OFF WORK I LOST MY JOB. I HAD WORKED FOR YEARS AND THOUGHT WE WERE A LOT CLOSER THAN THAT. HE WAS A DOCTOR!! ANYWAY I FREAKED OUT A LITTLE AND I GO TO MENTAL HEALTH BUT THE MEDICINE DOESN'T CHANGE THINGS AND I CAN'T SEEM TO CHANGE THEM FOR MYSELF. TOMORROW IS MY ANNIVERSARY OF 33 YEARS. BLISS! IT JUST SEEMS IF MUCH MORE LIFE GOES ON I WILL HAVE TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE I AM NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE AND CAN'T KEEP UP WITH THEM ANYMORE EITHER. IF THERE IS SOME ANSWER BOY I COULD SURE USE IT. I DON'T LEAVE MY HOUSE BECAUSE I AM SO ICKY. ACTUALLY I SHARE THE SAME HAPPENINGS AS WE ARE ALL TRYING TO GET THROUGH LIFE IT IS THAT I AM NOT HOLDING UP SO WELL. I USE TO THINK I WAS PRETTY TOUGH. ACTUALLY IT ALL STARTED WHEN EVERYTHING I THOUGHT WAS, WASN'T. NOW I FELL VERY ALONE AND THINK VERY DIFFERENT FROM PEOPLE. I OPEN MY EYES IN THE MORNING AND THINK "Oh NO, NOT ANOTHER DAY". YES I DO BELIEVE IN GOD WITH ALSO MAKES ME FEEL QUILTY FOR NOT GETTING ON WITH IT. WELL ENOUGH RUN ON STUFF. IF THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING A PERSON CAN DO I NEED TO DO IT REAL FAST.