Chimpmaster-
I am very happy to hear that things are brighter for you. Actually things are looking better for me as well.
I don't know if you read this other post I responded to, but it was titled, "What would you do if you didn't have panic?"
Everyone pretty much was posting how they would travel all the time and get out more and be normal in general. I responded sort of the way you just explained how you feel about your whole ordeal.
If I hadn't developed this PD I would still be pushing myself to the edge everyday and sometimes falling over. I would still be saying YES all the time to everyones demands and not finding any ME time at all. My work situation would still suck and I would still feel obligated to be the only person who made everyone in my life happy.
Instead now, I'm taking time out to enjoy every "good" day and finding small good things in the "bad" days. When I stop and look at my bad days in that light, they don't seem so bad.
I used to worry that if someone around me was in a bad mood or upset that it was always my fault and I worried all the time, "What the h--- did I do?" And then spend the rest of the time trying to "fix" what I did. When in reality, it wasn't me at all. Get it?
Anyhow, I'm looking at the world in a whole new perspective and it's great in a way. Everyday that I wake up I don't know what is in store for me, but by taking each second, minute and hour more slowly and carefully, I am able to respect how my day went in general. And if I have a "bad" day, it's ok. It doesn't bother me as much.
Ok, so I've written a novel! LOL
Again I'm glad you doing better and I wish you nothing less than more happy days ahead!!
-Misty
;)
