Well festive, I'm not exactly sure what a counselor would tell you. Also I'm not sure about whose SHOULD you are referring to...
I mean, do you think you should be able to do things because YOU want to, or you think society expects you to? I would say, that if the worst thing that ever happened to you, that you sometimes need to call your husband for reassurance (unless it really irritates him) what would be so bad, or devastating about that?
We all imagine what life might be like without those we love....we WILL BE WHAT WE TELL OURSELVES WE WILL BE....
IOW, if you tell yourself you will be unable to live alone, if your husband died, it's likely you won't .
We program ourselves that way. There are no guarantees in life...we will live long enough to lose our parents likely....it's reasonable to EXPECT that you will grieve and feel a void...but likely that our *FEAR* of separation, is tenfold more powerful, than when it actually happens.(I have lost both my parents)
DEATH is unavoidable...all the time we spend trying to live our lives fearing it or controlling it, the less time we spend living....does that make sense?
So be patient with yourself...take those baby steps, no matter how small...use them AS YOUR BUILDING BLOCKS...
You'll get there!!! :)