Hello, Maria, I like your Quote , and think it is very appropriate for everyone. Can you imagine that there are people out there still trying to learn this one. This is parrt of life and the younger you learn it the better. I have posted a Quote in a different thread, so that all can find it. How's your new hardressing job? You never told us. We are anxiously awaiting your post. We care, we are here for you. Red

Hi, Debra, You stay with your present job, as you love it, and it is not monotonous, and you do it well.I think what Maria was refering to was abuse by other people, whether it be a job or home life. She is correct, as one cannot stay and take abuse. It is entirely unhealthy, and she learned from her own experience. None of the abuse she took helped her panic disorder..quite the opposite. It set her back in her healing and progress. Once you get past what others do to you, in the workplace or at home, you can concentrate on yourself. in your situation, your boss is just a "knit-picker", who feels that control insured her job. As long as you do not take it to heart and feel responsible for what the boss has to deal with, you will be OK. You can let it go in one ear and out the other. Just because you cannot get a word in, doesn't mean that you are not doing your job well. Can you write a memo or "Intera-office" memo to her for things you want an answer to? That is what I would do. Then you have it in writing, for your use. Try that and let us know what happens. please? Do you know any visualization techniques? you can send white light to her to help her heal.Please ger back to me. You know there are others who have a relationship at home that actually helps panic disorder. There are some good people left in this world. Red

Thanks. I really love my work with the organization. I've been at it for seven years. I get to travel and move about quite a bit. The boss can be quite difficult though, and is quite unpredicatable. I've thought of moving on, but so far I've not seen anything else out there that appeals to me as much as what I'm doing. The others in the office are on a campaign to get the boss to move on, LOL. Now that would be a dream come true!

You have choice. You can select joy over despair. You can select happiness over tears. You can select action over apathy. You can select growth over stagnation. You can select you. And you can select life. And it's time that people tell you you€™re not at the mercy of the forces greater than yourself. You are, indeed, the greatest force for you. -Leo Buscaglia- Dear Red, I got 'that one' from experience. I am not afraid to change my life - if I don't feel right doing something - I change it, if possible; and usually a job situation is changeable - I am not afraid to take risks - it makes a fuller life, I have learned this from experience. If I had not the strength to combat and win over the obstacles I have had in my life and just took in the chin, no telling what state of mind I would be in, or who would still be controlling me - I feel we all need to be in control of our lives instead of someone else controlling it - it is bad enough at times our health holds us back - even that is conquerable in most cases - but, when in another human being is making another human being's life difficult, I look in a direction of a more positive energy to interact with. Hope you are well, Maria

Hi, Debra, how are you feeling today? I do not believe in "Walking". I do not know where Maria got that one. Do not leave your job over a differwnce of opinion, or because you have "stage fright", and fear to express yourself. Try to visualize yourself as a positive person who can and will answer, discuss any and all problems as they aise. Did you go to bookstore and look for a workbook by Edmund Bourne? You need to be pro-active and take the necessary steps to help yourself. I used to be like you, and after working on myself, found that I was equal, if not better that the people I was dealing with. There are exercises for what we have. It can be easily overcome if we make and take the time to do it. You must think positive, and at home, work on yourself. It is not going to work if you think it won't. You are what you think you are. You can be what you think you can be. Do not listen to people who tell you to walk away,, run, leave, etc. That is a negative reaction, and will not help you. What can I do for myself? You need to look in the mirror and rehearse what you want to say, over and over 'til you get it right, feel confident enought to say it face to face. What else can I do? You must go to bookstore, library, and get books and read everything you can get your hands on about this subject. You need to understand that you are not alone. If you read the back posts, you would have come across a list with famous people on it. It would amaze you ! Look for it. Some famous actors on the list . You must try to believe that you are as good, if not better than the people you come in contact with. Stop feeling sorry or insecure.When our self-esteem is low..we must look for ways to boost it. Panic disorder and anxiety syndromes do this..it is not your fault. If you can just do one thing and succeed, this will built your self-esteem by accomplishment and you will get a snow-ball effect. Please believe I am speaking from my own experience. And lastly, stay away from all negative things and people. If you have to rearrange your home to feel better ..do it. I did. I got rid of all vestiges , remnants of something that brought me down. You must take that first giant step in the right direction, so that we can help you from there. Sometimes people g

Dear Debra, Sometimes we have to reinvent ourselves - take risks and 'move on'. Our 'energy' is one of our most valuable commodities. If you say to yourself - I don't like it here, the energy is low, in fact, I think they are draining me of my precious energy-I could do better somewhere else - I'm going to walk. You may just feel better. Maria

One of my fears is dealing with a boss who assigns something and keeps interfering in the assignment with stupid small details, making me lose time in carrying it out. Some people call it micromanaging. My boss is not receptive to discussing this, and when I get an opening in an exchange when I could bring ir up, I freeze. Does anyone have any suggestion for dealing with her? She knows her stuff, but we do too, and in our small office, it's causing us all problems.