ok,so yesterday as duffis would say i had a brian fart!!!
i new it was coming ,just a matter of time!
i have let things get so totaly out of hand lately.
beleaving im sooooooooo hard done by,that no one is suffering like i am!!!!!!
i so totaly beleaved that i was craving a fag ,oh to feel that smoke going down my throat to feel the tip between my lips, to draw and inhale as deep as i could on this long lost friend.
i tell you the truth,i tryed really hard to enjoy the 4 drags i had ,really took it down deep!evan though it hurt like hell i wouldnt be put off,try again!!got to the 4th and gave in! it was horrid! and i mean horrid.my throat hurt,i coughed like i hadent in a long time, i really didnt like it one bit.i threw the fag out he window closely followd by the pkt id brought!�2.50 out the window but it was worth it!i no ive been romancing it.i just have not excepted that im a non smoker yet!im a smoker trying to quit, i will be a smoker trying to quit in 20 years time if i dont except it!!!!!!!!!!!.i can just imagin someone asking me in 20 years if i have a light and i will say "no sorry im trying to quit!!!"lol
i dont know how to except it
i know once i have i will be home and dry!
how many times must i try it to get it into my very thick head that i really dont want to do it!!!!???????????
maybe now would be a good time for hypnosis!!
ive been off the gum for wot nearly 3 weeks and i have put on 7lbs already!!thats just 1 of the other things that needs seeing to!
dont shout at me ,i know wot i did was very risky.but i had to try i really thought that was wot i wanted and i suppose it was, its just that i didnt like it anymore!
a bit like wanting a sweet that you used to like as a kidd but when you try it ,its soooooooooo sweet and sticky you cant evan finish it!
you wouldnt give haveing another sweet a second thought so why im i not doin the same for smokin!?
i have to find a way out of this or its going to swollow me up ant hints would br good right now.
ok jans now on the floor ,head down waiting for the **** to hit the fan!!!!!!
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/13/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 153
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,836
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �604.35
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B