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questioning things


jane
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jane
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for 19 år siden 0 12 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
hey all! just writing to see if anyone feels the same way i do. i have really been questioning things lately. quitting smoking has made me realize that i deserve better. i only smoked because i am stuck at home almost every night of the week. my fiance works day and night almost every day. i see him in bed and maybe once for 30 minutes during the day. it really stinks. i have been questioning my relationship though. he isn't home that often, but when he is, i am constantly picking fights with him. i don't feel like it's just me being a ***** though. i feel like i am finally putting myself first, and he doesn't like that i am becoming secure and independent. before i quit, i was sooooo self conscious. now i am confident! don't get me wrong; he's a good guy, but at least once a day, i have caught him smoking in our house again and i feel like that is showing major disrespect. this is the man i am supposed to marry! i didn't know quitting smoking would have this big of an impact! trust me, i really will stay quit, but i don't know how much longer i can take the smell of smoke in my house and a boyfriend who tries to sneak one in all the time. he doesn't have to quit, but i feel like he should try a little more if he really loves me. any advice? jane :(

  • Quit Meter

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    Days: 368 Hours: 19

    Minutes: 35 Seconds: 13

    Life Gained

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    3688

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Billyfrog
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Billyfrog
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for 19 år siden 0 1070 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Its a crazy cycle we are in right now./ Up, down, up, down...etc. Hang in there and don't make any life changing decisions until the fog lifts. You would be amazed at the turmiol we go through while making this journey! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 13 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 273 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $58.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26
CobenFan
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CobenFan
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for 19 år siden 0 2257 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Jane, While I will not give you advice on what to do about your relationship - that's your decision. What I will say is that keeping quit is a lot tougher when another person is sneaking smokes inside the same home you share. Gently explain to him that you need his help to rid the house of all smoking materials (lighters, ashtrays, packs of cigs, etc) and by all means tell him there is no smoking in the house! If he cannot abide by this and help you out, then it's probably time to re-think the whole mutual respect issue. Better yet, have you thought about asking him to QUIT with you??? You can start off a whole new life with both of you healthier and happier. Also, maybe you can find a job that you enjoy while he is at work. Employers love to hire non-smokers and you may find it exhiliarating! I'm happy for you in that you have a newfound self confidence, be proud of what you have done and stay strong, despite what others may say/do. You own this quit and it sounds as if you are willing to protect it at any cost. Then I say, You Go JANE!!!! CobenFan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 63 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,087 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $220.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 4
islandgirl
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islandgirl
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for 19 år siden 0 962 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Jane - My husband smokes as well. He has really tried to quit but for now he wants to smoke more than he wants to stop.:( That doesn't make me very happy but I have gotten him to go out in the yard to smoke. He is keeping his cigs in his truck (as per my request) and he is not smoking around the dogs (he never has smoked in the same room as the kids). He didn't really understand at first but I had to tell him (lovingly???LOL) that I just couldn't handle it on the screen porch anymore. Put a nice outdoor chair and a little table outside for your boyfriend to smoke in the yard and then tell him that's his new place to smoke. If he gets mad - so what? - is he going to leave you because he has to smoke outside?? No, that would sound pretty silly on his part. Take all the ashtrays out there for him to use...take a little coleman lantern out there for him - make it as nice as you can so he can't balk at smoking out there. But be firm that you will no longer allow him to smoke in your house. It is your health that he is putting in jepoardy. Don't make any relational decisions at this point. How many days are you on your quit? If this is in your first days or weeks - definitely do not make any relationship decisions. Maybe he just really needs to know that you are serious about this. Lead by example. Make Your Mark - Join the Circle Island Girl [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/21/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 95 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 959 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $190 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 46 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7

  • Quit Meter

    $1,725,112.50

    Amount Saved

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    Days: 5452 Hours: 5

    Minutes: 26 Seconds: 11

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    46003

    Smoke Free Days

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    1,380,090

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butterfly swimmer
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butterfly swimmer
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for 19 år siden 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Jane, Listen to Island Girl!!!! The first few days/weeks/months can really have a severe impact on the way we think, act and feel. The emotional roller coaster of quitting is very difficult and I'd hate to see you do something now that you WILL regret later. If you're not in the first 3-4 months of your quit, then make your decision with caution. But if you're in the first 3-4 months, hold off for a while... this could be your emotions going crazy (it happens to ALL of us when we quit!) Perhaps you could talk to your fiance and see if there's a time when you can have couple time. Also see how he feels about you quitting and what compromises he's willing to make... if you can get HIM to come up with an idea (i.e. going outside to smoke to support you) then it will make this a whole lot easier. I admire the fact that you have gained so much self confidence and independence through quitting! Don't let go of that! I'm so glad to hear that you will keep your quit at all costs... no matter what happens in your relationship, that's one decision you will NOT regret! Crave the Quit! Pam [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 211 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,298 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $871.43 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35
Josie-Health Educator
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Josie-Health Educator
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for 19 år siden 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Jane, We are here for support and advice and know that this can be done. The members have given some good advice, it is up to you to choose. Protect your quit at all times, this is about you and your journey :) Take some you time and relax yourself! Keep Strong, Josie _____________________ The SSC Support Team.

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