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sorry for the thinking post. It is an idea in the rough.
I guess what I was getting to is that I appreciate the forum and a lot of the internet resources. However, i miss the human contact that comes from a support group. Right now I would truely benefit from a long session (20 to 25 week) group to compair management strategies.
I have a lot of book information concerning bipolar disorder but very little practical life understanding of the disorder. And I feel lonely. I would like to SEE people who are living full lives and who are doing more than waiting to see... I think this might be helpful because I would be able to recognise signs and symptoms that something is coming and takes steps to avoid the worst of a crisis. Right now the only hope I have is to hold out till the weekend and dose up on sleeping meds in order to gain any foothold.
I really do not want to go from one episode to another. I would like to appreciate the normal periods with the --fear-- lurking in the background.
I have gleaned some understandings from the Wellness Writer's blog. But! there are precious few people who are as artitculate and well thought out in the morass of cyber-space. Most Net information is text-book lists of signs and symptoms. And there is very little that is portable.
Unlike you, I hate to write things down, give me a keyboard and access to the internet and I am fine. This way others can read what is written (my writing is atrocious).
I do get what you mean by knowing the extremes and wanting to know about the soft edges and the squishy middle. It seems it is either way good or way bad the stuff in the middle or along the edge seems to get lost somehow (maybe because we go from one end to the other without stopping along the way). It is not that we don't try to take our time to do this, it just seems to be out of our control, and no matter what we try to do or say the edge or middle seems to slip away faster and we are stuck at one of the extremes.
Focus and normal times are far and few between, so if you remember what they are good on you, you know what you are looking for and have something to strive for.
You have some interesting and insightful things to say wildcat. I am not sure if I fully understand your last paragraph. Do you mind expanding a bit further?
one of the things about this, and many others forums, is that we realise we are not alone. We can communicate and share ideas and experiences. We can ask questions and help each other put order into what seems like a black pit of nothing.
one other resource i often read on the net is a blog by an author. A creative person who is managing her bipolarity and learning a lot about where her illness ends and where she begins. And I guess i am not used to having this resource in the computer... I would FEEL so much more comfortable if it was in print.
Is it just me? or is there somethng special about holding a piece of paper with ink on it? is there a certain quality from the freedom of jotting things in the margins?
Ah well, the wellness writer noticed that when she is depressed she is sensitive to the moods of people around her and interprets them improperly. When she is "normal" her interpretations are exact and people are drawn to her ...
I have noticed this in myself . When I am down and depressed, I feel like the world is against me. I feel the victim and others do things on purpose to goad me... but in my normal times, I barely notice what is going on ... I focus on my activity (work, rest, games) and can easily join in or ignore on-going discussions around me...
THere are moments when I would like to have a group every two weeks to talk about these ups and downs. To compair my scribbled notes to others. To see what helps them. I am in a learning phase. I have a bunch of information but to tell the truth I do not know what it looks like on the inside. I know what the extreems CAN look like, but what about the edges?
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