Hi Leanne! I was just going down the list of new folks and saw your post. I replied to Miakoda's post and will end up repeating myself here since your story sounds much like mine.
Dealing with depression our entire lives is not the easy row to hoe, is it? I have gone through periods of "grace" where I've felt good for stretches of time, but the wheel always seems to turn and I end up back at this spot.
The CBT has been (literally) a lifesaver for me over the years.
On a bright note, however, I no longer suffer those absolutely black, down-in-the-pit depressions I once did. I spent years being terrified they would return, but Prozac is my miracle drug and therapy is my part in the solution. I haven't had suicidal thoughts for over 10 years. I'm proof you [i]can[/i] find your way back.
I'm glad you found us. Keep sharing, keep getting to know the folks here and I'm sure you'll meet some great people. LOL ... and, if you're like me, try to work the program instead of just visiting. I'm more interested in socializing than doing the work and to be honest, even that has been a huge boost for me. Being understood is a wonderful gift.
Again, welcome!