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Dear grizzle,
Welcome, thanks for taking the time to share your introduction here with us.
Please consider consulting with your doctor about how you have been feeling.
If you are hesitant to initiate the discussion of your symptoms, you may want to take our online depression test and print out the results for your doctor.
It is critical during this postpartum period to find the appropriate medical attention and help is available. You do not have to go through this alone - help is available.
Casey
___________________________________
The Depression Center Support Team
I am going through a major depressive period in my life. I very recently spilt with my partner, became homeless and went bankrupt; had a baby, now 17 weeks old and I already have a 3 year old. I love my kids but sadly I hate myself more. I can't stand my life I just want to die - but I can't because I am terrorfied of death; so I'm trapped.
I can't talk to anyone; can't cry; I can't feel anything in front of people. It has always been like this, since childhood, ever since I remember. Always shy, beyond shy; never had a sense of self. I've never spoke to the doctor about depression before, until I was pregnant and I tried desperately to explain twice but they just passed it off as pregnancy blues; I lost confidence and at my post natal check I just lied and pretended everything was fine. I am privately seeing a counsellor but I cannot talk. Everything seems pointless and I am just wallowing in my own self pity which is quite sickening.
I starve, binge, purge and over eat; I used to self harm only a couple of times it wasn't my thing. Instead I turned to drugs and drink. I'm clean now I just use eating to self punish and keep myself numb.
I'm a fighter though that is why I still go to counselling sessions and I've started this. And I cling onto the hope that one day I will find the courage and the strenght to talk and find myself.
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