Hi, I've been on EffexorXL 75mg for about 2 years now and for me, it is the best medication by far of all I had been on. I had medication resistant depression and a "plain" SSRI just did not do it for me. I had also been on Paxil and Remeron, but the Paxil stopped working and the Remeron was really sedating for me--plus there were weight gain problems with both of them. The only very annoying side effect is the sweating, especially combined with menopausal hot flashes, but I think its worth it. The decision to start taking meds was very hard for me too--I guess its that way for a lot of people. I was a nurse, and nurses, like mothers, are not allowed to get sick--especially with something like depression, which is not visible and has no lab tests to help with treatment. I try to think of it as the brain's equivelent of diabetes. In diabetes, the pancreas either can't produce insulin or the body can't use it properly, in Depression, the brain chemicals get all whacked out and I can't think reasonably, I am sure I am incompetent at everything and a burden to everyone. My natural shyness turns into extreme reclusiveness, etc., in a continous, negative downward spiral.
The thing is, with diabetes, they can check blood sugars, but there is no way but trial and error for depression meds, no fun when you are in the "error" end of the equation. In the United States, we have a very "pick yourself up by your bootstraps" way of thinking. We would not expect someone with a broken leg to walk before he got a walking cast on, but we think people with major depression should be able to function as if nothing is wrong.
Even some therapists seem to have fallen into the "well if you would get your thoughts straight, you wouldn't need meds" end of things, which is very frightening to me--it makes me feel that there is no help available if I need it. I can't get my thoughts straight if my meds aren't working, talk therapy helps me keep them straight and deal with messes caused by untreated Depression, but the meds are necessary also.