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good morning i don't feel too drugged up this morning, but i crave a cup of coffee. i hereby declare my addiction and indeed dependence on that steaming black cup of stimulant. maybe i'll attempt to drink fewer cups today...i'll replace a couple of cups with decaffinated, coffee. should I say artificial coffee. i guess its more socially acceptable than takeing a shot of liquor in the morning. i remember walking through train stations in Germany in the mornings. commutors would stand there drinking early beers. i feel less stressed in the morning. i have time to kill. the problem is that soon its mid morning and then its noon and i haven't done anything. then i have to rush off to do something before everything closes and then i'm tired. the day rushes to a conclusion and i am angry with myself because i have accomplished so little. thoughts are rushing around in my head --- out of control. i take a couple of pills and go to sleep. thats the best feeling -- just before i doze off. i'm at peace with the world.

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