As for your therapists intentions - although he wasn't a good fit for you I would give him the benefit of the doubt that he was actually expressing concern that you were quitting therapy before a resolution was found. I think most of them mean well (even the goobers..lol).
You didn't tell him you were seeking alternative treatments so he probably was a bit worried....(it's hard to tell someone they're not the "one") but you don't owe him anything so don't feel "sorry".
Big step today Miki.. now good luck on your new search..
I myself have been procrastinating.. I made a ton of phone calls etc. looking for a therapist when my meds stopped working... but now that they are back to normal and I'm feeling good.. I've stopped the - I get so mad at myself for being like that... It's like the program - once my anxiety is under control I fall off the wagon...
So, I called my therapist today telling him that I want to take a break for a bit. He asked me why and told me that I still have my problem to solve. I told him that I just don't feel like going right now and his response made me feel a bit sorry. I was a little surprised to hear this from him when he's supposed to be a psychologist, but I guess it's still, all about the money, unfortunately.
Ha Ha.. My OCD wouldn't let me have it any other way.. I need to have control so I need ALL the information. Not always good when you have an anxiety disorder.
I have to give credit to my doctor though. She is amazing and is a bit of celebrity here in BC.. she's on the evening news.. involved in our University.. and on the cutting edge of a lot of NEW up and coming options in the world of medicine. She is also a huge follower of natural remedies so she isn't always just telling you to pop a pill but to treat the person not just the problem :) I'm VERY lucky.
As for the cost of therapy.. it is daunting.. Even here. My hubby and I do alright financially but he does not have extended health so all of our expenses are paid by us.. When you're raising kids I often come last.. lol.. so I put off treating me until it's absolutely necessary... Now it's necessary..as my last setback made me realise the meds do a lot to keep my OCD under control but that I do need to learn to live with it when they aren't working.. YIKES!! big fear there :)
I would suggest though you try your Universities.. they often have psychology students that do counselling under the supervision of Certified Psychologists.. and they can't prescribe medication so you're safe .. ha ha!! Really though these are students just on the cusp of graduating and looking for "hours" to complete their clinical experience.
Your kind words always make me feel good Cornish dee.. but I will tell you, I can give the advice but I don't always heed it.....It's much harder to do it myself even though I know I should.
Psychologists are great tools... so don't be nervous. AND they don't push medications.. it's all "mental" mind work / behavioural stuff.
Thanks for sharing your story and some valuable information! Looking into programs at local universities is a great idea (and the price is definitely right!).
When searching for a therapist or a program, I agree with Sylvie that you should look into different therapists and different programs and get a feel for what you think might be right for you, and what might work best in terms of meeting your needs and goals.
And we of course are always here to support you and help you along the way
Just thought I would share an experience I had a few years ago. A University in our province (it's famous..lol) has a Mood Disorders clinic that studies Anxiety disorders and runs a "support group" type program for 12 weeks . I did this..and the whole program was a lot like what your therapist is asking you to do.. We often had to induce panic attacks.. We did hyperventilation excercises, increasing our heart rates etc. I found these to be VERY valuable to my recovery (even though it was a bit "weird" doing it with so many other people.. lol).
It is a great way to learn that you're not going to die or have something awful happen to you. With that being said.. the fact that your therapist is telling you she can't help you unless you do it tells me she is a bit of a TOOL.. as she should be able to see you're not yet ready to go there.. and she should be working on making you feel comfortable enough...and to gain your trust so that you believe that your safe with her.
She's not doing that and that's not you ... it's her!!! You need to find someone who is supportive and guides you when the time is right. As for the experience though.. it is effective and a bit reassuring to know that when all is said and done.. you are the one in control.
You could look into your Uni's and see if they have any programs like the one I did.. It was even FREE.. which was a real bonus.. Although it didn't CURE me as I was naively hoping so many years ago, it was the first time I realized there were a lot of people like me and this is not something I had to do alone.
It's best to do your research and ask for a trial session before committing to a therapist. Find someone that you can feel comfortable with, male or female, it's your choice.
Sylvie, Bilingual Health Educator
