I think I have hit rock bottom. I broke down sobbing in the grocery store today, I could not control myself, my son was with me and now he is scared, he was putting things in the cart and talking and talking and I started crying, not loud hysterical sobs, but people noticed I am sure. Am I having a breakdown? MY son told my husband and now my husband is furious with me for losing it. I think I made a terrible mistake going off the Zoloft, I am scared to take the Paxil with the Klonopin, I called 2 pharmisists and they disagree on whether to take the two together, I fear this untreated panic anxiety and fear about my "heart" and everything else has led to a depression very dark and deep, panic is enough, I cannot deal with both! I have read panic along with depression is very hard to recover from and the suicide rates go up, I did NOT need to read that, very discouraging! Of course I am not going to hurt myself or anything like that, but its not encouraging. I wish I knew about the meds, my nurse is out of town, my primary refuses to see me because of the chest pains, which I find horrific, that my DOctor would tell me to go to ER instead of treating me and I cannot get a hold of my therapist. Will this ever end? I just want to be normal and healthy, not even happy, just normal, my husband thinks when my brothers fiance had a stroke young, that "set me off" and I was fine till then, there may be some truth to that, but I am not obesssing about strokes, just my heart, he is brother and I love him and he needed to talk and I had to be there, my husband says do not talk to him anymore because its causing you to go down. I am really scared I do not know where to turn, I am praying very hard I wish I knew if Paxil and Klonopin are safe together and I will not have a fatal reaction from them. I should of never gone off the Zoloft, but I have none and going cold turkey, my husband leaves for work soon and I am alone with my little boy, no car, or noone to help me, please send prayers. Thank you for listening, I am trying so so hard to get better. GOd bless, Debbie.
