hello daylermoon and vickers4, thank u for ur replies. i know that being in this state can alienate friends. i probably have done it for most of my life. but i want to change. so yes i will feel hurt but i will not stop talking to them cos i don't want to die alone. i want to be remembered as a good friend. daylermoon, i am not offended my ur comments in fact it is reality. and the better we deal with reality. the better we can get along in society. vickers4, at the same time i will concentrate on the people who r actually there for me. here's to a better life.

I've also had this problem with people for years. I've gotten to the point where I don't talk to people. I will talk if someone at work starts talking to me about something, but I don't offer anything more than support or advice about their problems. I don't bring up anything about my self. I got tired of being hurt by people. I don't think I've had any friends outside of my sisters for at least 10 years. I've come to realize that this behavior is adding to my social anxiety however. This website has taught me to face my fears and overcome. So, I quit a job that I loved because I had my own office and didn't have to talk to people other than being cordial if they stopped in needing something work related to now working in a very busy doctor's office, surrounded by people because I am forcing myself to live again. My husband's grandmother recently died and she spent the last years of her life completely alone, depressed and angry. She shut everyone out of her life and if you tried to get close, she would turn on you. She had an extremely hard life and shut out everyone. I remember the night after her funeral and I couldn't stop crying because I realized that was the same road I was going down and I was going to one day be a lonely old lady with noone. She taught me something. I'm very sorry to say that she will probably never know how much I admired her strength and how much compassion I felt for her because I related to her so well. She tried to push us out also but my husband loved her so much that he pushed his way in harder than she could push out. She died in January. I have been working on my social anxiety ever since. I decided to be open and let my cards lie on the table. I realized that this was very dangerous because I started taking down the wall I had spent so many years building, but I also realized that the only way to find out who would really accept and love you regardless of your downfalls was to let your guard down. Don't worry about those that walk away from you because of this. They are not the kind of friends you want anyway. Hang on to the few that accept you for who you are - there are few, which makes them all the more precious. Don't shut people out because they keep hurting you. Some people just suck and there'

Hannah, I was lucky that my friends were supportive when I began having anxiety attacks... esp. since I when from being the carefree, fun-loving, "life of the party", to becoming extremely fearful, confused, and quite withdrawn. I did, however, notice that some of these friends, with time, became frustrated when I changed plans, or would make passive-aggressive comments about me not going out as much. I understand where this comes from, but it still happens sometimes, and it still hurts. The thing about panic is that while we cannot understand our friends' and colleagues' reactions, they also cannot understand what we are going through. That's why support groups exist, and are so important. The other thing about panic and anxiety is that it can, at times, make us somewhat self-absorbed... we are overly concerned about our every symptom, and we can frankly become less fun to be around, and even less supportive as friends. It is important to understand what role WE are playing when people start treating us differently. I hope the last bit I wrote does not make you feel worse, but help you examine what you can do to help make things better for yourself. In the meantime, the support group is an invaluable resource, where we are all experiencing the same things and can understand each other like no one else! I hope you can maintain the friendships that are really worth maintaining, and I hope we all overcome the anxiety and panic together!

Hannah, You know where to go when you need someone to talk to. We are all here for you!! Take Care Hannah, Melanie ___________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

hi melanie, thanks for your response. take care,

Hi there, I was so afraid to tell anyone that I was taking meds for my GAD and I did divulge it to a few close colleagues and found out that 3 of them are on meds too, only one said "you're crazy" but I don't care anyway, I picked up a really good book that my doctor recommended, and it's really helping me. Hope you feel better! Christine

Hi Hannah, Fellow members will be responding to your post soon, but as you had mentioned depression in your post, I wanted to let you know, if you are looking for more information on this, The Panic Center also has a sister site called the "The Depression Center". Here you will find lots of information and various site tools regarding depression. You can visit this site at www.depressioncenter.net. Casey _____________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

hi,just wanted to share some feelings. i was just diagnosed with anxiety disorder and depression. before that when i tried to talk to some of my colleagues, they just considered me going crazy. now they don't call or talk like they used to. pretty much try to avoid me (or at least that's how i perceive it). i know that they can;t be true friends and actually it comes as no surprise. just sometimes when u r all alone, it kinda hurts. there was one particular friend who i really considered a really nice friend. i had one of those days when i was so listless. but he never bothered to call the next day to find out how i was doing. i was so hurt but then i got over it. before, these things added to my anxiety but now i don't let it bother me. just wanted to know if anyone has had similar experiences. i am doing much better now. i am thankful for the people who do care abt me.