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Depths of Despair


for 19 år siden 0 151 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thankyou all for yous support. I am still here, still lurkin about. I dont know if I am comming down with a cold/virus or if the strong emotional reaction is causing it but I have been sick as a dog. Probably a little of both I imagine. I wish I could stop the thoughts in my head and the pain in my heart but I cant. There is only one person who can do that and he will never know. Anyway I pray for everyone every night. Life [b]never[/b] gives us a break, time to heal. We have to struggle each day and try to cope. Thanks again to all who posted it means alot to me, more than you will ever know. hugs
for 19 år siden 0 370 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Crystal, I am concerned about you! Please post and let us know how you are doing, you were so wonderful to me and I so want you to be alright. I have been thinking of you all day. Everything is going to be alright. Some days are just worse than others. I hope I hear from you soon. Prayers, Debbie.
for 19 år siden 0 34 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
i forgot to mention somthing. every time you feel week and worthless, just remember that we are surviving through somthing that alot of people could never comprehend living through. no one who doesnt have panic could possibly fathom what every day is like for us. you are very strong.. you have been through alot and you ARE STILL HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
for 19 år siden 0 34 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
i too, have an ex that left me when i was at my worst.. he went to work one morning and never came home. i didnt hear from him for a long time. i was pregnant with our second child. still to this day,even after all hes done to me i wish he would come back and i continue to let him walk all over me. my panic attacks are at an all time high right now, i barely function, not really living, im just here. please do not ever, ever apologize for dumping out how you feel to all of us. thats what we are all here for. i have to believe things will get better, they have to. i will pray for you and myself and all the rest of us. you will be alright, i promise.
for 19 år siden 0 370 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Dear Crystal, I cried when I read your post. Please call me tonight if you need me and want to talk, I am here for you, we can talk and you cry, vent and whatever you want, I am here for you, as you were for me. You are NOT a fool, you cannot turn love on and off like a switch, you were with this man a long time and feelings cannot be stopped overnight. By what you say his life without you is not going good he is probably remorseful and guilty and he deserves to be, I probably sound harsh towards him, but I despise what he did to you. Perhaps he is having second thoughts about the break-up, if he wants to get back together he must promise NOT to leave and be there for you, sickness and health and for better and for worse! YOu have done nothing wrong, extending a Easter dinner invitation is not wrong, he was out of town so he did not get it. Cry it out, that helps, say "I am going to cry 30 minutes for him and thats it" that is all the time he deserves. Remember this is NOT your fault, you have done nothing wrong, he is the one who did wrong, not you. I am here to e-mail, post or call, I am up late, please I am here for you Crystal. I am praying for you, this will pass I know it will. GOd bless. Debbie.
for 19 år siden 0 387 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm so sorry this guy has trampled your heart again! It is so hard dealing with anxiety by itself let alone having to deal with the **** other people throw on you, too! I wasn't really sure in your post but is he wanting to get back with you? I'm not sure that you should if that's what he's saying. You deserve to be with someone who will be there with you no matter what! You have to believe that! That person is out there somewhere - I promise!! I know that's hard to believe when you're feeling completely alone but I pray that you find the strength to keep looking. You will find him! Maybe right now you should just focus on yourself. Give yourself a candlelight bubble bath or make yourself some brownies or something. Watch a favorite movie and veg on the couch in your jammies with a bowl of popcorn. It's ok to be upset about him treating you like this, but know that you deserve better!! I truly believe that in the bottom of my heart! Take care of yourself today. Cry as much as you have to so you can get it out. It's hard letting go of someone - but you will be ok! And even though it doesn't feel like it right now, you will come out of this a stronger person - I promise! Hang in there!
for 19 år siden 0 151 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I write this post thru my tears running down my face, with pain in my heart so bad I wish I could just lay down and sleep and not wake up. I got an email today from my ex, remember the guy who walked out on me after 8 years, who left me alone, agrophobic, unable to eat alone, unable to drive, unable to check my own mail? Yeah that guy. The one who told me he was comming home the beginning of April. Well about this email, I sent him an invitation to come share Easter dinner with me, of course he didnt come. He didnt get the email until yesterday. He just said he just got back from a trip and that he is living a very f&*%ed up life right now. Thats all. So being the needy person, the desperate one, needing one token of love from him, that I have been praying for since he left me 10 weeks ago, refusing to let go of my love for him no matter how bad he has treated me. Again I am totally devestated. I hate what anxiety and panic has doen to my life. I have tried so hard to get well fast, to conquer each hurdle to push pass the fear and terror to accept the pain and anguish. I dont know what to do now, I feel so utterly defeated. And alone, so very very alone. What a fool I am, what a lonely desperate fool. Here am I posting to help others see past their pain and despair and struggles with anxiety and my own life is such a worthless mess. Sorry to dump but I have no one else to turn to, noone who understands. I am trying like everyone here to understand how to live again and I keep getting knocked off my feet. I wish I had answers. I wish the pain could stop. I dont want to be hurt anymore. Please pray for me.

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