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feeling anxiety over past

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Jaybe,

I hope I didn't oversimplify what you're going through. How about turning it into an exposure exercise, to build on Sunny's suggestion?

Recently, there was a great forum on how to do that, since we're aiming for progress, not perfection.

One of my most cherished mentors used to describe patient progress visually by a bunch of concentric circles representing the ventures from the safe home, out to various places as the risks were increased. That picture of gradual risk helped me rise from the depths of sadness to many wonderful memories.

Another mentor suggested taking a "coping card" with me, which was a list of rebuttals to my long list of excuses(i would need external hard drive now!).

You can't take Ashley & Sunny along, unless you printed their advice and tucked it into your pocket...or carried a blackberry...

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Jaybe: I hope you go out with your friends. Sometimes I don't feel like going somewhere and then once there I realize it's just the pick me up I needed. You can always go home early if it doesn't work out. Don't let the negative thoughts win. Let us know how it goes.

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Jaybe,

I think the ladies night sounds great. I think you should go aswell. I don't think staying at home will get you to be any less "unstuck" but this meet up might help. Also, it sounds like you may benefit from check out some of the information on the Depression Center (www.depressioncenter.net).

We are always here to listen. You are not in this alone.

Here to help :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Jaybe,

Isn't "ladies night" just an excuse for singles to meet others...and you sound single...what do you have to lose?

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 57

Thanks Everyone for all the encouragement and comforting words! Ashley, I don't know what to do at times, I just feel lost! Sorry i haven't been on here for awhile, having other issues go on in my life, I feel like just gettin deeper stuck in this hole, was going to go to a ladies' night out affair tonight and lookin forward to it , since I don't get time to myself ever, but I don't think i can go now, I have no family or friends around, trying to stay positive for my kids , but it is becoming impossible when the future is now looking dark.just needed to vent

jaybe

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

My life has disappeared as I try to help mom, who still has her mental faculties, and her physical ones slowly erode.

We get some help twice a week, but I don’t have the social anxiety I had before, since I actual fear leaving mom. It’s tricky to tell the difference.

I’m ashamed to say this, but I don’t have a friend I can ask to a movie and this website and an email account is the only connection to the outside world I have. I do go to a gym every other day, but it’s more to “escape”, and I find I don’t wish to “connect” with anyone with the pent-up emotions distancing me.

If I can plan for some fall course or activity, it might help, as it has in the past. Eg. I took a photography course, a home renovation course, cooking courses,financial courses since I’ve left work. I have to make sure the “breather” I take now doesn’t take so long that It’s too late to enrol in something that interests me, since many courses have begun already.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Hugs: You do sound very isolated and sad. I wonder if it is possible for you to get out to a movie or lunch with a friend once in awhile. Is there someone who can watch your mom for you while you go out? It would be good for you to have some fun too. As you already know, we need balance in life. I'm hoping you can get some time off to enjoy yourself too. Is there an organization which offers this service where you live? You mentioned a day care for your mom before, would she be able to go just for an afternoon?

My mom is going to be 95 yrs. old in Dec. She is in a good, loving nursing home. They take very good care of her, however, when I visit and she no longer recognizes me, it is emotionally difficult. When I visit and come home, it affects my mood for awhile. I can only imagine what you are going through. Is your mom experiencing physical deterioration with alztheimers too? She seems to be cognitive if she has interest in the garden, wants parsley planted.

Thinking of you,

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Jaybe: So sorry for your loss of a daughter. I know when b'days or family celebrations come along, we do miss the family members who have died. I have a brother whose birthday was Christmas Day. I still quietly wish him a happy birthday on Christmas. I can only imagine what it is like for you and your family. I wish you peace and love.

Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Fall seems difficult, with the vegetables being almost gone, except for our generous beans wrapping around our lattice. It looks so empty without the tomatoes, but the roses are hearty and will keep going until november, and she wants the parseley planted so it can continue through the winter.

Her sister and my aunt, is unwell, and I need to plant that parseley to give mom home to get through the cold winter, in case my aunt passes on.

Having left work some time ago, I feel the isolation, since I burned my bridges with work colleagues. It's odd, since I'll go to a store, and everything looks deserted.

I really had to leave work, to care for mom, but now I see how empty my life is, and how much responsibility I have taken on, just as you have Jaybe.

Maybe some small hibernations are okay, but family requires our health and focus.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 376

The following from a friend is just so beautifully written and on point that I wanted to share it with you:

Bereavement isn't like an illness, from which we will eventually recover; rather it is like losing a limb. We learn to adapt to the absence, and somehow manage to cope, but our lives are forever altered by the loss...

Some days it's just OK to not be OK, and we shouldn't feel ashamed about it. I refuse to suppress my sorrows, finding that acknowledgement helps me through the process of addressing them. Rather like taking a garment from a drawer, not to wear, just to unfold it, examine the fabric, appreciate the quality, and then quietly refold it to put it back again. Knowing it is there.. even if there is nothing I can do to change it, I might understand it a little better and see some beauty previously overlooked. Then when I have had enough time to reflect, I will get up, dust myself down, and enjoy all the loving and living that I am blessed with. Sometimes we just need to take a little time out to get over it... (Haley Darby)

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feeling anxiety over past