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Being alone

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Guy,

Doesn't it feel better when we collaborate!

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 89

Thank you for the support. In my case, I don't seem to understand my emotions, their causes or effects, until after the fact. However, I am learning and I want to learn.

My fiancee (I also call her my wife often since we've been living together for several years), and my family have been instrumental in helping me understand my emotions. I also had a good year of counseling with a good man and counselor. I've also had the benefit of that book, Feeling Good - The New Mood Therapy. Last but not least, I've also had the guidance of this great site and it's great members.

There are tough times, and good times ahead. With folks like you, and the others here, around me, we will weather the storms and enjoy the sunshine. Isn't that what life is about?

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 653

Hey Guy,

Emotional intelligence is like 'regular' intelligence but to do with emotions: the ablility to assess, control, and understand one's emotions and reactions. It's a fairly recent term so not surprising that you aren't familiar with it. Hope my brief explanation helps. You sound to me like someone with good emotional intelligence, by the way!

Glad you are doing well and feeling positive. What a sweet thing your son did!

Keep up the good work!

Tiana, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 89

Hi Davit,

I was thinking about the same sort of thing, people gone oversees to war, or for average jobs, often for 6 months or years in the case of the world wars. People change over time, but it seems that back then a promise was a promise. Yep, sometimes those promises got broken, but I like to think they tried their best to make it work.

My sweetie and I would have been married already if it weren't for our hectic work lives here. When I was on call 24/7 we couldn't plan anything and when she was on call 24/7 we couldn't plan anything either. Plus trying to find an affordable place to have a wedding here was near impossible!

There, at the new place, we can have the wedding in our backyard. Heck, there's three acres! Plus she actually gets guaranteed holidays. Where she worked here, there was another manager that had cancer and because she already used her holidays they told her they'd fire her if she took time off for treatment.

I'm rambling again. Must be getting tired. Well, Davit, every day is day closer for you and your sweetie and for me and mine. That's a big plus to hang on to!

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Guy

I meant I know what it is like to be in one place and your lady in another and having to wait.

It eats at me, but I'll manage, just like you will. Isn't technology fantastic. Internet and the telephone make it a lot easier.

Funny thing, I was thinking about my Dad going to war and not seeing my Mom for a long time. Only snail mail back then. I would love to know what they put in there letters to hold it all together.

Here for you,

Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 89

Hi Davit, I don't know about this. What is that you have to wait 7 weeks for? Hang in there. If I've learned anything about you from this site, it's that you can do just about anything you put your mind to. You have a good heart Davit.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 89

Hey all,

Thank you for the supportive words and thoughts. Had a good talk with my sweetie tonight, had a good talk with my son, got the appraisal papers for the house (not as much as I hoped), got more boxes, and of course the winning lottery ticket - well, at least I hope it's the winner.

The talk went well with my son. I told him about how gray and cold and snowy it is here and how I could use some sunshine. He pretended he had sunshine in his dresser and went and got it for me. It was like having a bit of sunshine when your boy does something so creative and thoughtful.

My sweetie is doing well and we had a good talk about selling the house and me getting down to her. So far she's enjoying her job and the neighbours are keeping their eyes out for jobs for me. There are opportunities there. Maybe I work at whatever and start my computer service company on the side.We'll see, that's too far ahead for me to think of right now.

Today is better than yesterday in terms of anxiety, panic, and stress. It's not where I want to be, but it's a small step towards it.

Ashley, what is Emotional Intelligence? That's a new one on me. I always felt that I didn't understand my feelings and there causes very well at all. Lots of people say I'm not very emotional at all, but I always felt I was an emotional bag of toys.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Cdn Guy: I think you have done great! Just hang in there a little longer. Cleaning and getting ready for a house sale is nerve wracking for anybody. Give yourself a big pat on the back. Keep on posting! Hold onto to our hands, we want to support you.

Your friend, Sunny

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi CdnGuy,

Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. I want to highlight one thing, selling a house and moving is a BIG life transition and is stressful for everyone. There is nothing wrong with you for feeling stressed; it is how you manage your stress that is what is important. It sounds like you did the perfect thing, did what you could and then did a little self care. Taking a break for yourself in times of stress is essential for overall well being and even for productivity. So good for you@

The other feelings you mentioned are all important as well. It is amazing how in tune you are with your feelings and what is making you feel a certain way. This is a great skill. You must have high emotional intelligence

What have you learned about yourself going through some of these issues alone?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 4027

Guy,

I worked with a fellow who’s father was dying. He used to say, to me, “the sun goes up, the sun goes down”.

He was so angry when as his dad died. He came back after a short week, resuming work, to my surprise. I on the other hand, have trouble letting go of a pencil.

I wouldn’t be so callous to make a simplistic statement to you, but I do notice that from the beginning of your post, to the end, there is a cycle from sadness to hope. Do you see it?

Also, there is an impending loss with your home versus a lot or property, so the CBT programme has something on grief, if you want to look at it, if you hadn’t already...

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Being alone