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Feeling negative.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Anerol: Sorry you had to go through that, I've had similar experiences and it's hurtful being judged and criticized and misunderstood. My sister and brother did not believe in anxiety disorders - "it's just stress and all in your head and why are you so sensitive anyway? Look at me, I don't care about stuff like that". And then it's all about them and how wonderful they are and on and on. I can just hear them. I may be getting a visit from someone this summer with whom I'm not comfortable and I'm a little nervous about it myself, so I sure do understand. It's nice that your family is helping you out with this opiniated person. Bravo for talking to them about your feelings and bravo to them for sticking up for you. You're doing so well, don't let this bring you down one bit. We luv ya!

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 112

I am so glad to hear that all is working out for you!! Awesome. We can amaze ourselves when we choose to confide in our loved ones...usually they are more than willing to come to our aide , they were just waiting for us to ask.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

Hey A90,

Thanks so much for the reinforcement and support. I'm glad you can understand me even if it's a "bad" pit we fall in.

I have an update about the whole situation. Family talked to the 'friend' and explained to her what our family lifestyle is right now. They told her my situation too and gave her the option to still come if she will be 'ok' and comfortable with it. She is going to discuss it with her husband and call back. I feel very relieved now and I've realized that it's really good to explain your situation to others and not hide it. I feel like all the burden has been released. Also, I feel like it will show how much she is willing to accept me too if she does come.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 9

Firstly Anerol can I just say that I think it's great that u can make your feelings known to your family like that and that you can stand up for yourself against people like this "family friend". I know how difficult self pity is to get over when you start feeling it, it's like a pit that keeps getting deeper and deeper until you don't know why you bother with anything anymore, and I'm not gonna say that Ive any cure or method for overcoming the feeling when it arises, but I just want to reinforce the point here, that everyone on these forums are going through the same things and that there is always people here to help dig you back out of that hole that you've put yourself in, and that you ARE a strong person, who, although may not be feeling like your "normal" self at the moment is acknowledging that things are different and trying,like others on here to fix things, recover and to become not your "normal" self, but a better, stronger version of yourself.

A90

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

I have tears (good ones) in my eyes. Sooo much love and beauty, thanks so much!!

Lucid dream, that's so true. I do forget that we all are 'imperfect' and I tend to take so much personally. Most of my family don't understand... but one of them almost does and it is nice. And you guy do too! That family friend does have a lot of problems, you're right... I should keep reminding myself this if she does start to mind me. She is a perfectionist and her husband is a son from a wealthy family.

Davit, thanks for the encouragement... I will do my best to ignore her while showing her that this is me, whether she likes it or not with much respect of course. She does really come from a whole other world from mine. I am doing a lot better today and it is bothering me less and less.. and even less after I've read all of your comments.

Shadowkins, thanks for the reminder. I will keep trying to focus on myself when she is here. She is burried in a lot of material stuff that I think it is hard for her to see what really matters.

Ashley, thanks for reminding me that I did well... I needed that confirmation. I'm always so bad with confrontation and explaining myself and end up thinking if I did it 'right' or not.. but I guess doing it is the point.

Hello Carnations, I'm sorry you had to go through it too.. especially from your family members. I do the same thing by thinking the words over and over again, but you are right that letting them know what you are feeling is how things get solved.

I wanted to say that I am feeling a lot better today, actually it was a pretty good day. Things are still akward with some family, but it's not bothering me as much. And I feel even more better after reading everyones comments. I am surprised at how quicker I'm getting back on my feet. It's all thanks to all of your support.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 42

anerol,

I was in a similar situation as well, and I still don't know how to handle

people that criticize me like that. What's worse is the criticism came from my family.

All family members.

I found the only thing that I could do to handle the criticism is to stand up to the person,

otherwise, I end up thinking about their words over and over again and how hurtful they were

and how all I did was stand there and let them continue bashing me.

I hope you are feeling better.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 11226

Anerol,

I am glad you felt comfortable to post here. We have all gone through a yucky time where we felt others didn`t like us or we didn`t like an action we took. It is no fun! But from what I am hearing I think you did well. You talked to your family about something that was bothering you. That takes a lot of courage. This women you are talking about has no right to judge you or your lifestyle. You don`t let her lecture you about being ``normal``, in my oppinion it`s not ``normal`` to judge others. Well that`s my take. You stay strong. We are all here for you and we all think you are better then `normal`you are supportive, caring and articulate person.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 112

Anerol,

Davit is right , we are always more critical of ourselves than any outside person....I do the same thing and if there is something I have learnt through all of this, is that I need to give myself a break and love me. Just as you should do....ignore this person who judges you, she obviously doesn't have much of a life if all she has to do is cut you down.

I wish I were there I give her a smack

and tell her to mind her own beeswax!!!

You are normal, Anerol, probably more normal than many people out there... so you are going over a bumpy road right now... that's okay , we all have our difficult moments and you are working very hard to get to the other side. Kudos to you.

Soon we will do all the things we dream of, without the cross we carry.

My friend sent me an e-mail that said:

" The will of God will never take you where the grace of God cannot protect you"

I thought it was appropriate in this case, you're only given what you can handle and you are doing a great job....don't forget that okay?

Hugs your way and hoping today is filled with sunshine and smiles.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Anerol

Do you realize that critical people have to start somewhere and where they start is with themselves. Critical people do not like the way they are. They go out of there way to change to something they think is better and therefore they want you to fit this mould also. They really hate themselves. It is not just you. Nothing can make them happy. They may look happy on the outside but they really are lonely. How can you like someone if you don't like yourself. Ignore this person cause you can do nothing to help. Be polite because you don't want to get sucked into the critical trap and it is so easy to do. Be yourself and love yourself. We love you for you. You should love yourself too. More <<<<<<HUGS>>>>>> coming your way. Stay on a roll, don't let this get to you please.

Just one of your friends.

Davit.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 86

I'm glad that you are already looking forward to a "better day tomorrow".

Please please remember that no one is perfect and we all do things that we either regret or feel embarrassed about. Anyone that you think you bugged has done the same thing in front of other people, so you are not out-of-the-ordinary. I'm sure your family understands. And if not, I'll bet everyone on here understands!!

As for the family friend - it's sad that she has to tell others how to live their lives through lectures and criticism. I've always believed that it's those kind of people who have the problem, not the people they're criticizing. I don't understand how people can think they're being helpful in that manner.

Good luck with the situation if she does visit and if you can, try and take what she says as empty advice. Just because she says certain things doesn't mean that they're true.

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