Your post made me smile. Especially when you said "I want to experience life outside and enjoy it." I smiled because I know you really meant it and more importantly you really believe it! Amazing! How do you feel knowing you accomplished your goals?
Although, I know I'm not "cured" I can say I have made some improvement. I had set some goals on going to at least one public place a day and to try driving with someone or by myself. I've driven by myself twice.
The driving trips I've had done on my own have been short distances and I was a bit shakey, but nevertheless I did it! I can't say I'm crazy about the idea yet, but I know I'm moving in the right direction. On a trip I had to take to see a pyschiatrist, which was about 45 minutes away really worried me. My mother in law was driving and we came up with the idea of me reading a book out loud during the trip. There were 3 intersections that I was terrified of and before I knew it, we passed them. What I learned about this is that one, my mind was occupied on something other than anxiety or the drive. The second thing I learned was that I subjected myself to something I was frightened of and now I'm not dreading the next trip.
As far as going into public places, it isn't as much of an issue anymore once I was taken off the SSRI Celexa. However, I still do not like the idea of crowded places. I wanted to buy fabric so I focused on fabric and my project, which helped me to not focus on the people or anxiety. The biggie for me is when I'm in a check-out line and there are several people behind me. On a positive note, I can go into public places! An idea for the next time I'm at a check-out line is to read the horrific tabloids at the check out until its my turn.
I believe the key is to continue working on getting out of my comfort zones. I want to experience life outside and enjoy it. The only way to do it is by finding new ways to get myself out there and get mind focused on something else. I do know this is much easier said than done, but at the same time its easier each time its done.
