JohnnyO,
If this is what helps right now, then go for it but be aware this is still an avoidance strategy.
When you're ready, enlist the aid of a friend to run through practice client calls with you may help and can be a great exposure goal.
Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
Have been openly honest with people on a number of more occasions and certainly felt the fear as I waited for their response. So it becomes a two part goal, one to express, the other to be tolerant of the backlash. Of course, it isn't always backlash which also helps. Obviously the fear of being openly honest was the fear that heavy sadness or anger was going to result.
I'm still using email pretty heavily and can't even bring myself to answer the phone at work. I'd rather they left a message and I could prepare how to respond. I think it's a legitimate way to deal with it, essentially people phoning are expecting to jump the queue. By hearing their message, I can assess if I need to respond immediately or if other things have higher priority. Great rationalization eh?
I am happy to report that I have been practicing being more openly honest with people and being less concerned with the reaction I get, so that is huge improvement.
I did pick up the phone on a few occasions this week when it would have been just as easy to continue with the email war.
I really enjoy having goals to strive for. Still having motivation and procrastination problems on the home front but trying to be gentle too.
Thanks Josie,
I met with my "job coach" today. She is essentially a mental health worker that provides counselling such that I can maintain employment in spite of suffering from anxiety, depression and bipolar II.
One of the major hurdles is communication. One impossible goal would be to ask my supervisor outright what the tension is between us. Real or imagined. I avoid anything so confrontational.
Next on the difficulty scale is openly expressing feelings and opinions. I will have to stay open to opportunities to practice, perhaps with safe people first, then move on to less comfortable recipients.
My most immediate goal is to practice making phone calls and face to face meetings more often as opposed to doing all communication by e-mail. Most obvious in my work environment, but I find myself doing the same thing with personal contacts. Should try the phone or meeting them too.
Johnny,
Use the program to help guide you step by step through exposure therapy. The steps will help you challenge those thoughts and learn to focus on one anxious thought at a time :)
Josie, Support Specialist
These days it seems that my exposure is just coming at me. Between being back at work and trying to participate with a church community, I am faced with scenarios that require me to challenge my social anxiety. Even then, I find myself trying to insulate myself from the exposures. A plan might be to extend myself even more with all the opportunities availabe but I worry about losing ground. Setbacks don't just happen once, the repercussions seem to linger for many days after a negative incident.
I am finding it hard enough to just face the necessary events, let alone generate even more to create progress. Deep down my aspirations are dormant as I accept that I'm pretty weak at handling day to day struggles let alone allowing any ambition to sneak in.
