Hi Diva, I really agree with the moderator here Diva, you are an inspiration to a lot of people on this site. You're always the first to reply to others and welcome them to the group, you seem very open and honest, and from what you've said about yourself, you have come a long way, and seem quite determined, so don't let this psychiatrist mess you up. I have an idea, you've probably already thought of it youself I'm sure but , what about you doing some research on the net about the various drugs that would be on offer, their pros and cons and going back to the psychiatrist armed with a good idea of the particular drug that might best suit you. My experience of psychiatrists is not particularly good, they can think they're gods, they do promote certain drugs for reward ( I'm sorry if I offend anyone here, but I KNOW they do ), so if you can go in to see him armed with the knowledge, I think you're half way there. There are literally hundreds of drugs available, some are more expensive than others ( may be a factor ? ) I tried several neds before I found the one best suited to me, venlafaxine. I was also put on meds for a disorder I didn't have, and after consultation with the maunfacturer no less, insisted I be weaned off it. I am not saying all psychiatrists are as I have experienced, just that some are. You have been doing so well, it just might be worth researching and then discussing at least ? You hang in there, benzo's are great short term, but like you, I would have reservations about taking them over a protracted period. You've been doing so well, remember that !