Dear Liquid, I do understand, but I think perhaps, like me, you have lived this way so long you do not know how to break out, I know when I recovered last year I felt SO great to join the living and when the panic and anxiety let up, I hope this happens for you and for me too and all others on the site. Do you take meds? I was just curious, I know its not the whole answer and I am still waiting for mine to "kick in" I will pray for you I know one day you will fell better as all of us should. God bless, Debbie.