I am ready to jump out of my skin. Today my diorder effected my little boy and it was the straw that broke the camels back. My friend was going to go pick him up from his bowling team ater school, she wanted me go shopping first and out for coffee and lunch, I told her I could not, I am very dizzy and my head throbs, I called the school and cancelled the bowling, he got home yelling and screaming and very upset, I finally, I guess with Gods help called my friend and we took him to the bowling alley then picked him up two hours later, it was a big disaster through before because I was scared to go out. I want to go to the hospital and find out what in the heck is wrong with me, because of the headaches, dizziness and blurred vision I am convinced I have a brain tumor like my Mother, it is ruining my life, and now I am ruining my son's life with it, I would rather die than do that, I love him so much and I do not want my problems to interfere with his life, I am convinced I am dying anyway, my husband will not take me he said anxiety and depression are causing all this, but I do not think it can cause all these symptoms can it? I went to the DOctors and he could not find any reason for these symptoms, my husband thinks I need glasses because of reading and being on the computer, I am scared to go to the eye doctor I rarely leave the house during the day because the bright light hurts so bad, having a headache for 9 days is NOT normal and I am so scared, I fear going to bed at night because I will not wake up and my son will find me dead, this is not living its like being in some sort of neverending nightmare, I have been on the Paxil 3 weeks and its not helping, its like taking a sugar pill, the klonopin stops the shaking but then makes me tired and more depressed, I fear I have lived like this so long its ingrained in me or something and I will never live normal. I so want to go to the hospital, but there is noone to watch my son and our insurance would probably not authorize it anyway, I feel I am ruining my sons life and I do not want him to watch me die a slow painful death from a tumor. I would give anything to have one week of being healthy and feeling good, I wish I knew if panic and depression can cause you to be sick everyday with headaches and terrible