Hey everyone,
I'm not usually one to ask for advice but my panic is once again getting th better of me, and I feel like I have no where left to turn. My Dr. has been great to me and has done so much for me above and beyond what I would expect for a GP. But all he has to offer now are more meds or higher doses, which is not what I want. My dose is quite high anyways and I don't want to switch meds because I am too scared. My parents seem to be the people I always go running to, especially my mom because she has it too- although nowhere near as extreme as I have it now! My husband just tells me I need to do something or think about other things. I am not keen to talk with my friends about this because, not having had it, they have no idea what I experience.
I feel horrible. My body feels like a dump full of chemicals- too much adrenaline and cortisol. I am tight and tense and I am starting to get very sad. I am having probs sleeping and even when I do sleep I wake up tired still. I have little energy. 3 years of this is really taking it's toll and I don't know how much more my body or my mind can take. Death is my #1 fear, so I am not suicidal but at the same time I have no idea how to carry on this way. Alternative treatments are expensive and anxiety provoking for me and there's no guarantee thay will even work. I feel very alone. I know the mental hopsital would just feed me more drugs and being that I'm a nursing student, I know people who work on that ward!!
I have a friend coming from out of town on monday and I really want to ask her not to come because I just don't feel like I can deal with the stress of having company right now. My husband and I have been sleeping separately because I jump every time he moves or breathes loud! We only have a 1 bedroom apartment so when she comes we will have to sleep in the bed together meaning I might not get any sleep at all!!! I also have a paper to write for a class and we are moving at the end of the month, so there's more stress. Should I try to cancel my friends visit?
Please help, I am so lost today!
