hi debbi, thanks for all the support you have been giving me.i hope you feel better soon.i have my monthly also. hugs! gina

I did not panic today which is good, I am just extremely depressed tired and weak, going through that ER room 2 Doctors the dad reaction to the medicine has floored me, I have cried alot today I think because I am still sick with the kidney infection and weak from my monthly, I feel like every ounce of energy has been sucked from my body, and I am so afraid this time I will not recover, its different this time, its like alot of my hope has vanished, to get that kind of horrrible medical care while sick is so bad, I finished the second antibotic I just hope and pray I feel better soon. Thank you all for your concerned posts. LuLu I read what you wrote and I DO understand about how you feel, once in Jan I was walking my dog and a car was coming very fast and for one brief instant I considered just standing there! Thank God that thought went away, I thought of my son, I think what happens is that our panic and anxiety is so high is goes into depression, we fight and fight and then get depressed, your thought I think alot of people think from time to time whether they admit it or not. I am considering re-starting my Paxil Monday, I stopped when I became so ill with the Kidney infection, I thought it may had caused it {it did not I know now} and I did not want to take too much medicine. Are you on meds Lulu?? I get scared that this antibotic did not work and the infection is still in my body, I do not want to think like that, can anti-botics wipe you out, I took Macrobid, I pray God it worked, I feel so bad all over its hard to tell, I cannot tell whats physical or emotional any longer. I am not worse but I thought I would feel better already, I am so tired so very very tired. GOd bless, Debbie.

Hi Debbie how are you now? I hope you have had a good day.I have been really depressed the past couple of days i was driving with my husband and kids last night and a car was coming toward the intersection and i found myself willing it to crash into my side.I am feeling a little bit more hope now my girly is due next week so im wondering if that has anything to do with how bad im feeling now i see my doctor on monday so hopefully she'll commit me and dope me up so i dont have to deal with this ;p i know it will get better i just have to be patient.Let me know how you are going. Lulu..

Debbie, How are you feeling? I am sorry for not responding...I was away for a few days and had no access to the internet.... You are so strong...hang in there...your husband and son will be back...please do not lose hope or faith... Please post back... Sending hugs, B

Debbie, I'm new here. Just found this place tonight, but I know what you are feeling, and I'm so sorry. I wish I could help you. I wish I knew you and lived close by. I know that feeling of fear and panic and being alone, but you ARE going to be ok. Keep posting. I'll keep an eye on you. Sending prayers of peace your way.

I am feeling a little better emotionally Lulu thanks for your concern. The ER room the two Doctors the bad reaction to the first anti-botic was rough, and a sore foot and my period for the icing on the cake! Its been a rough one for me and I am hopefully praying things will ease up, being very sick has seemed to weaken me mentally and the lack of good medical care, I was alone tonight my son and husband went to a concert, I am happy they had a good time and got out, I did alright by myself, better than I thought, I just want to feel better and go on with life. How are you doing Lulu, how are things with you?? God bless, Debbie.

Debbi how are you feeling? I hope you are alright you have been through so much this past week its no wonder you are exhausted your body needs time to recover so make sure you get lots of rest.I get into that depression after every panic i have.Tomorrow is another day be strong you will be ok. Lulu..

Thank you Tiuli, I know you are going through it too and I appreciate you taking the time to respond, my little one and husband left and I am trying to be strong, everytime I get physically ill it makes my panic sky-rocket, I took 1/2 of Klonopin, I do not like to take alot just enough to help me a little. I think I am going to take a nap and try to rest for an hour, with the kidney infection, swollen foot and my very bad bleeding from my period I am exhausted, after I panic for hours I go into a deep depression because I am so mad at myself. I hope you are doing better, I hope to hear from you soon. God bless you, Debbie.

Oh Debbi, it's the first time i answer you, i'm new here, but you seem to be suffering so badly! I don't know your history, but i find when i get stuck in a relentless thought pattern like that, i need to get outside, even if it's just to have a breath of air on my balcony. Or I do anything just to break the pattern: dance around, start singing really loud, hold an object, anything just to get out of myself. Hang in there: nothing bad will happen, you won't die, your husband and son either, it can'T get any worse than this, and IT WILL END, you will feel better soon. Hang on!!!

Last night I think I had an allergic reaction to the antibotic, about an hour after taking it I was short of breath an broke out in some hives, I called the Doctor who gave them to me his medical tech called back and told me to take the last dose today at noon, that it was probably not a reaction, my mother-in-law called posion control for me and they told her that is probably was that a reaction can happen anytime during treatment not just after the first dose, I never talked to the Doctor, just some medical tech who apparently gave me dangerous wrong advice. It was my last dose and I happy to be done with it, I was afraid not to take the last pill because the infection could come back so I am done with the antibotics. I cannot stop shaking, I had a hour panic attack so bad I could not breathe, my son won tickets to a concert tonight and my husband and him are going which will mean I will be alone all night till after midnight, I feel so bad, I have waves of panic, then complete exhaustion, then panic again, I cant even recover from the first one. I am bleeding bad from my monthly and my foot is hurting bad and its hard to walk on, I do not want to be alone tonight, but I cannot and will not ruin this for my son, he is so looking forward to it, I want to take a 1/2 Klonopin but I am afraid if I need Benadryal later it will interact, I am a big pathetic mess. It has been 3 hours with no hives has the danger time past yet since taking the dose? I am itching I dont know what is real and what is imagined, I want to sleep but I am afraid I will not wake up if my throat closes up from the antibotics, I am so glad the antibotics are over, if only the DOctor would of called, I now have conflicting advice from the med tech and then posion control, I want to call the paramedics but my husband has forbade me not too, he does not want to be embarrssed anymore, I better not one more false alarm and I am afraid he will leave with my son and my son is the only thing keeping me going. God I just want this hell to stop, this is the worse I have been in awhile, I cannot stop shaking, my family is going to call me tonight to check on me but they are 1500 miles away, I almost want to go to the hospital and stay there till my son and husband come back, I cannot ruin this for my s