I am so upset after doing fairly well for a few months feeling "semi-normal" the anxiety panic and now even depression has returned. I have felt for the last 2 weeks that "I am dying" heart failure, stroke, lung cancer, etc....I feel so old and unhealthy and I am not that old, my time of the month is due in a day or two and I do know that will increase a womans anxiety and sadness, I just feel like all I have to look forward to is old age {if I make it} and sickness and death! How morbid! I just want to enjoy life and be happy, I am so afraid I will die and leave my son, that is my biggest fear. I saw my nurse, she said she did not "think" my symptoms are cardiac, I hope she is right, I am even having pain in my teeth and cheeks which I heard can be symptom of heart attack. How the heck did I fall so hard so quick??! My nurse wants me to start the Paxil again with the Klonopin, I am afraid but anything is better than this. What happened to the young healthy girl I was once? Panic by itself is bad enough, but this depression with it is almost crippling, I just want someone to tell me I am going to live and be alright. My nurse does what she can, but its mostly about meds, my therapist has not called me back our free sessions are over and she does not want to take my money she says knowing we can not afford it. This fear of death is ruining my life. I am going to pray very hard I can get over this, just when you think its going to be alright, bam! its back. Sorry this is so long. GOd bless, Debbie.
